" I figure out quickly that Stan has no respect for me or my home , and is terrified of responsibility . "

monition : This clause contains mention of abusive relationships .

In my experience, I’ve heard plenty of stories from my lady-identifying friends who had to cut off men in their lives for a plethora of very good reasons. But then I started wondering about guys who had to distance themselves from their bros. So, Iaskedmen in theBuzzFeed Communityto share times when they had to cut off a guy friend because of their trash behavior. Here’s what they said:

Note : Some responses have been edited for length / clarity . Some responses are also fromReddit .

1.“This guy I was friends with seemed totally fine and didn’t really show any red flags. I was there for him during his breakup with his long-term girlfriend and gave him advice when he needed it. He seemed nice and was overall pretty chill, but quiet at times. Well, he met a girl on Tinder, and they started dating pretty quickly. Me and my wife were super supportive of them both…until we heard he started being super controlling.”

" He would constantly yell at her , differentiate her what she could and could n’t wear , order her she was n’t allowed to smoke anymore , made her feel bad for blab to her friends that he did n’t care — passing toxic poppycock . At that point , my wife and I get distancing ourselves from him , until I eventually call him out for his behavior , and he completely blocked all communication . I have n’t talked to him since , but fortunately , she ended up break up with him . Sometimes you think you know mass until they show you a different side . "

— puertorican

2.“It happened slowly over a few years. I had moved away from my hometown, and we kept in contact via a group chat. There was a weird competitive vibe that started to show up during the pandemic, which is when my career took off while his business tanked. When we saw each other for his birthday a year later, he made a couple of racist jokes in which my race was the punchline. Both I and another attendee called him out for this, and he didn’t apologize.”

" He did it again when I see him several calendar month later , so I took a step back . When I terminate it , he did n’t apologize and was whole dismissive of my feelings . That just validate the conclusion . I occasionally hear from a common friend how he wish we were all together still , but that just tells me he has n’t reflected on why he is no longer part of my life . "

— Anonymous

3.“One guy complained about how he has to keep creating new profiles, because every one gets deleted for his stalking women.”

— rollecup

4.“A dude I was friends with in high school decided it was a good idea to bring three truckloads of his dipshit friends I’d never met to my family’s land and trash the place.”

" I was out of town at trade schooling , and this place has been in our family for four contemporaries . I say him the linguistic rule , and he break them . There were 25 square yards of crushed liquor bottles and other shucks I had to clean up . When I face up him about it , he instantaneously lied to me , saying he did n’t sleep together anything about it . "

— leatherrecliner

5.“I ended a 10-year friendship with my best friend who I will call RJ. He was a total perv and narcissist. We’d hang out at parties or in group settings with guys and girls, and he would always take pictures of the girls' butts or cleavage when they bent over. I called him out on it, and he just brushed it off like it was no big deal.”

" I started to outstrip myself from him after that for a few years , so I would only see him at other political party or in transcend . One daytime he invites me out to tiffin to get up , and he wanted to see why we had drifted asunder . Before I could respond , he asked if I still sustain in touch with anyone from gamy schooling , and I say him I did . He proceed to call into question why I still hung out with those ' also-ran ' and require how come I ca n’t find serious champion . He then conk on to brag about how much he pay for his new watch , clothes , and leased motorcar . RJ always like about his image . After that dejeuner , I completely cut him out of my life . "

6.“An old high school friend just never seemed to change. Seeing him over a decade after graduation was always exactly the same as seeing him in high school. Still living with his mom, still playing video games all day, still jobless, still misogynistic (and alone).”

" His idea of hanging out is eat Hot Pockets in his room while show off his smut collection , as if he were proud of an accomplishment . Many of my erstwhile friend have produce in different guidance , but I prize their increase . I can not prize someone who is the same someone at 30 as they were when they were 18 . "

— misterfrooby

7.“I recently went on a roadtrip with my friend (a woman) and our good friend (a man). The ENTIRE trip — and I really mean the entire thing — he showed off how many girls were matching with him on Tinder/Bumble, he talked about sex and made sure to mention the positions, and he flirted with every girl we encountered, only to be like, ‘She’s really not that cute’ after she would leave our presence (WHY FLIRT WITH HER THEN???). But I would say the worst thing was the way he spoke about women TO women.”

" From saying how he never noticed how spacey his best Quaker was after she gave nascency to her Logos ( it was a difficult maternity ) , to say he need another one of our friends to work as his secretary ( even though she has a full - time job as senior director at a pharmacy ) . Over the age , I ’ve realise this is not someone I want in my life . I grew up , and he never did . I wish to surround myself with people who do n’t shoot others down just to make themselves feel better , and I can only opine if you ’re saying that about people I have intercourse AND do n’t acknowledge , what are you saying about me ? "

— YayaT

8.“We had to remove a couple guys from our gaming group. One was a womanizer who started espousing homophobic and anti-Semitic views. Seeing as I’m Jewish, the group was OK with not continuing to invite him.”

— jws2019

9.“When I was pretty new in my relationship with my now-wife, one of my friends came over because we had planned to do karaoke that night. When he showed up, he was already wasted, and he immediately started an argument with her about gun control, and he got pretty threatening.”

" I told him that he was out of line and not to spill the beans to her that way , and she ended up leave to go back home . He then say , ' Now that she ’s move , let ’s go to the bar and sing . ' I told him that I was gon na go after her , and he replied with , ' So you ’re run to choose her over me ? ' And I said , ' Yeah , that ’s correct . ' I ’ve only assure him once in the undermentioned eight years , and only briefly . "

10.“What really did it for me was when he said it was ‘so scary to be dating now’ because ‘any woman can just say whatever they want even if it’s not true and men will get in trouble.’ Yeah, the only people who say that are the ones who are doing shit that should be called out.”

11.“A friend from high school went off the deep end with his political views. It isn’t that political views matter to me, but when it is all you talk about, it makes it hard for me to want to associate with you.”

" It is n’t even that his perspective are juxtapose to my political views , they are just on the utmost end . There were a number of other things that had him on the outer boundary of my Quaker group to start with ; now our only interactions are the occasional text message or Facebook comment . "

— robert_dunder

12.“I had been friends with this guy. I’ll call him Stan. He is a 36-year-old guy. I’m 43. We hit it off when we first met. He is just incredible to be around. Handsome, funny, very outgoing. Owns the room when he walks in it. We were connected at the hip for seven years. I am a homosexual man. Stan is straight. Everyone thought we were together, and it was obvious why, we were so close. Even his mother thought we were together. Also, that is where Stan lived. In his mother’s basement, which is a red flag I didn’t see. Fast-forward to two years ago. I buy a home, and Stan moves in with me. I figure out quickly that Stan has no respect for me or my home, and is terrified of responsibility.”

" After cleaning up after him for a yr , including all the trash he would leave on the priming outside , I make up one’s mind to sing with him about cleanliness because his room was bug out to reek up my theatre . He blow up and leaves , and I do n’t hear from him for days . I ended up having to kick in his locked sleeping room room access to get the sense of smell out of my house . His room was piled with beat mouse , trash , and gallon jug of piddle that were leak into the story . Takes me a week to strip the room , had to cut out part of the floor and subfloor to get the flavour of piss out . I had to cut my losses as well as him from my lifespan . His mother was devastated by the news show . Mainly ‘cause she did n’t want him back in her basement . Which he is . And he plausibly will be for the relief of her life . It sucks ‘cause he has such gravid potential in so many ways . All waste . "

13.“He slept with two of my girlfriends. I had texts and a video to prove it. And I confronted him about it on both occasions, and he said ‘it wasn’t me’ like he was Shaggy.”

" Look , if he would have been a military man and allow it to me , I would have been OK with it and moved on because he was one of my adept friends . But , because he continued to dwell to me , I cut him off . Now after 10 years , he randomly decided to fall fair . Like , fuck you , you had your fortune . "

— TrystenConn

14.“My best friend from childhood became a white supremacist. I’m not white. Even his family had no idea what happened to him.”

— Chai - Tea - Rex-2525

" I was at lunch with my other friend once , and he was there . He was making design with the other supporter for a tiffin on Friday . He reckon at me dead in the eye and told me not to come . That really was my final straw . "

— Plenty_Jellyfish8903

16.“We were great friends in junior high and part of high school. Into early adulthood, he ONLY called me when he needed something. I quit taking his calls.”

17.“He asked me if I could send him $700 after he moved out of state months prior. He gave me a sob story about having a rough time since he moved. Problem is, this wasn’t the first story he’s given me. I had also sent him $50 a few weeks earlier. Despite his promises to pay me back a few days later, I was ghosted.”

" That $ 700 was the last straw . I was done . He move back to town a twelvemonth or so ago . He tried a few times to reach me . I ’ve never reply . I desire he ’s doing better , but fuck him . "

— NayaZombies

18.And finally, “He developed a sour attitude in life about how he couldn’t get ahead. He slowly got jealous of the success that groups of guys we hang out with had, and he got mean-spirited. We ALL tried to help him, get him jobs, interviews, hired him, etc. to get him experience, but the fucker wouldn’t work hard at all.”

— Rumble73

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger as a final result of domesticated force , call 911 . For anonymous , confidential aid , you’re able to call the 24/7National Domestic Violence Hotlineat 1 - 800 - 799 - 7233 ( SAFE ) or chat with an advocator via the website .