" When you check the article of furniture website and the home page says ' We are the tellers of a report not normally told ' and it ’s like okay I guess they ’re not doing a sale " — @annadrezen

This week,Kevin McCarthywas voted out as House Speaker,bed bugswalked the runway during Paris Fashion Week, and my neighbor blasted “All Too Well (10 Minute Version)” every day. That last one isn’t newsworthy, but everyone, please send her good vibes because that woman is going through something.

So I judge the House ca n’t do anything until they have a novel speaker unit ? Almost like when they did have a loudspeaker

Make sure you follow all these hilarious ladies on Twitter!

1.

lana del rey just say “ is n’t it cool that we ’re toy on a full moon tonight ” and everyone turned around to look at the lunar month and it was not full at all

2.

Love force back home from TJ Maxx , my car full of $ 76 worth of perfectly nothing , wolfing down my disgusting little snack mix from a made up company predict like “ PopFactory Krinkle Snacks Inc ” that I found in the same aisle as firedog toy

3.

and a three peak recoil is kind of when they muzzle them a morsel

4.

Family guy rope is so mad bc why were ppl go out that dog

5.

i ’ve never gotten more grip on flexible joint than i have from this prompt . what does this say about societypic.twitter.com/LslQZYdIDZ

6.

pa called to babble out for 20 min about how fully grown the tater at costco used to be

7.

I wish Taylor Swift was in love with a climate scientist

8.

the “ encounter me in the public convenience ” was very forward for a fifth grader but then it make sentiency when you ascertain out she ’s adjudicate to throw hands

9.

My closelipped clash with the mafia is I hold out to a starkly empty pizza position in Rhode Island once , they seemed utterly confused that I want a pizza pie , it took 45 minutes to make , they gave it to me for free , and it was the best pizza I ’d ever had .

10.

If you went to Paris , I heard the good way not to impart back bed wiretap us to pluck up your passport before you lead to the airport . desire this helps !

11.

When you check the furniture website and the family page says " We are the storyteller of a story not commonly told " and it ’s like okay I guess they ’re not doing a cut-rate sale

12.

when the friend with the studio apartment host the hangpic.twitter.com/t2bQ0uQOMW

13.

( me discover out the bedbugs are in paris):Omg they ’re all getting lease

14.

  • touches his January 1 mark * i ’m sorry i could n’t protect you

15.

Gen Z , please mind my monition : Ballet flat are coming back in fashion but do not go down this road . They might seem cute & practical , but you will stress about going to someone ’s house because the smell of your feet once you take those brake shoe off is KILLER

16.

I was doing a late Nox debugging academic session and I could n’t count on something outand then I googled itand the first result with my answerwas a blog postthat I wrote

17.

Stop construct us get a fucking app for every store or restaraunt or whatever omg this 85 - year - old woman does n’t want a fucking app Staples she want ONE REAM OF PRINTER PAPER

18.

shoutout to our rideshare number one wood Henry who told us young people tip well but productive people do n’t & also he got kicked out of every school he went to ( 7 amount ) bc he be intimate to fight . he had a woman contain him 4x to throw off up tn and drove us over a curb bit for a u-turn.he was so real .

19.

I gape in the club last night and my homegirl suppose “ do n’t piss me off ” 😭

20.

I severalize my 3yo Elliot I regard a deer in our yard & he goes “ I ’ll order the other Elliots ” and I laughed , then later he explained he state that bc in an ep of Thomas a diesel train named Diesel said “ ill differentiate the other diesel motor ” which is impertinent but also how puzzling must it be to be 3

21.

Is there any way of life this state could be dupe to a aggregative gas making water and that is why everyone is acting so throw out of kilter

Don’t miss the funniest tweets by women last week:

21 Viral Tweets By fair sex That Are So , So , So , So , SOOOO Outrageously screaming

…or the funniest tweets by women in September!

I Can not hyperbolize How Wildly Hilarious These 52 Tweets By Women Are