" I was told , ' Whoops ! I ’m just going to kind of … tack it on . It ’ll probably hold , ' while having my fingertip reattached after a freak chance event . As I left the ER , a different aesculapian master said to me , ' Oh , wow . They save it ? We were sure you were going to lose it . We even placed bets ! ' "
The other day, Redditoru/CR24752asked,“What’s the weirdest thing a medical professional has casually said to you?“People shared their strangest encounters with medical professionals, and they ranged from absolutely wild to downright hilarious. Here’s what they had to say:
1.“My surgeon, during surgery to replace pins in my broken finger that had been pushed out by my own body, said, ‘I’m really getting them in there this time, you little freak of nature.'”
— uracil / Anarchysparky12
2.“Was living in a foreign country and had a cold/flu type illness. Went to the doc, and he comes in eating a bowl of cereal. Already weird. Checks some things and says, ‘Do you know what AIDS is?’ I’m in complete shock and say, ‘Yes, I do.’ He follows up with ‘That is a virus, and there is no cure.’ Finally, he ends with, ‘But you don’t have that virus; you have a different one — much more common and treatable, but I wanted you to understand why an antibiotic wouldn’t work.'”
" I ’m still in seismic disturbance , so I ’m like , ' I do n’t have AIDS then , right ? ' He lead , ' No , ' and walk out . What a roller coaster . "
— u / Tacolife973
3.“I went in for my checkup six weeks after my second kid, and the intern who was shadowing my OBGYN made the comment, ‘Oh, hey, you’re looking great!’ Not to my face but to the bottom half of me.”
— u / nevadaho
— u / realpren
5.“I was told, ‘Whoops! I’m just going to kind of…tack it on. It’ll probably hold,’ while having my fingertip reattached after a freak accident. As I left the ER, a different medical professional said to me, ‘Oh, wow. They saved it? We were sure you were going to lose it. We even placed bets!'”
— uracil / youre_a_wizard_baby
6.“My gynecological surgeon said, ‘If you ever tried to have a baby, the kid would snap your pelvis in two and rip you in half.’ He said it in the most casual manner. I was mortified!”
— u / TheBadKneesBandit
7."‘If you don’t mind, I’d like to show everyone pictures of your tonsils.’ According to her, I had the most disgusting tonsils she had ever seen in her years in the business, and gosh darn, she wanted to show them off.”
— u / Old_Army90
8.“My previous OBGYN came through my line at my old job. For some reason, I blanked out on who he was. Like, I knew I knew him, but for the life of me, I couldn’t remember how. He saw I was struggling and said, ‘Don’t remember me? I’ll give you a hint: Last time I saw you you were in my office with your ankles in the air!’ He said this loudly, in front of a line of little old ladies fresh from church, wanting to buy flowers from the garden center.”
" He was an awesome Department of Commerce and enter out what was incorrect with me when no other physician could , but in that here and now , the embarrassment could have obliterate me lol . "
— u / Marauder424
9.“When I was younger, I was getting stitches after a skin lump removal on my leg. The doctor and the nurse started to comment on how elastic my skin was and how nice it was to have young skin.”
— u / Cardboard - muncher
10."‘If you want to help people, don’t go into medicine. As a doctor, I’m nothing more than a people mechanic, and much like a car mechanic, I patch people back together well enough to get them out of the door until I see them again. If I could go back, I’d run as far away from medicine as I could.'”
— uranium / NewbieRepGuy
11."‘Wow. You have the flattest feet I’ve ever seen.'"
— u / BONGwaterDOUCHE
12.“When I was 12, I had a dentist say, ‘Hold on, I think I might be counting wrong; you shouldn’t have those yet. Okay, nevermind. Those are definitely your wisdom teeth. Your mouth is just huge I guess.’ They said it was the youngest they’d ever seen anyone get their wisdom teeth. They called in every dentist in the building to come look at my mouth.”
— uracil / kodlab115
13."‘My son is about your age and single. Do you want his number?’ said my gynecologist."
— u / My_dal
14.“Not me, but my mom. She’s in remission for a non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma that invaded her brain. She was getting a scan to confirm the cancer had left her brainpan, and the doctor came in and said, ‘Good news! We’ve scanned your brain and can confirm that there’s nothing in there!'”
— u / imgrandojjo
15."‘You just hang on right there, and we will get you a wheelchair and admitted to the hospital. We have to do a colonoscopy, but don’t worry I will knock you out before sticking a camera up your ass.'"
— u / MacDugin
16.“I had back pain — I’m not young. The doctor just basically said, ‘Well, that’s just life for you. You’re tall.’ I asked, ‘So, I’m just going to end up being a hunched-over 90-year-old?’ The doctor said, ‘Lol, you’re not going to see 90.'”
" I said , ' Um … pardon ? ' The doc asked , ' How many marvelous previous people have you ever escort ? ' I say , ' Oh … yeah … OK . ' "
— u / The_Town_of_Canada
17.“After destroying my knee riding BMX at 17, the emergency surgeon said, ‘Wow, really fd that up.’ Ten years later and after another serious knee injury from riding, I saw the same surgeon (he did a great job on the first one). First words out of his mouth were, ‘I remember you. Fd up the other one, huh?'”
— uracil / brianbmx94
18.“My gyn told me how her husband removed her IUD at home while she was removing mine.”
" Also , a doctor tell me my lipstick was pretty , and I needed to add crazy glue to it — so I could run through less . "
— u / Alltheprettydresses
19."‘OMG, it looks like ground beef!’ said a doctor looking into my extremely painful strep-ridden throat. He gave me a Z-Pak from his stash there and then told me to take the first one now. It was bad."
— u / nj - rose
20.As my wife was delivering our first baby, the doctor said, ‘You’re killing it!.’ Doc meant ‘you’re doing a great job.’ My wife stopped pushing and freaked out for a sec."
— u / gachunt
21.“I heard ‘…Wait, did he say he wanted to be awake?’ when I was in the operating room waiting to get my appendix removed. I met the anesthesiologist and asked to him make sure I didn’t ‘wake up’ in the middle of it. I didn’t want to be aware of what was going on. He counted me down and right before it all went black, he said this to the surgeon.”
— uranium / ksozay
22.“I had a doctor tell me that my metabolism is so slow that I would do very well in an apocalypse.”
— u / Rosemary324
And finally…
23.“When I was, like, 20, my endocrinologist took a good look at me and asked, “‘Are you okay with your face being so asymmetrical?'”
" I had never really point out it before , but boy , have I noticed it since ! "
— u / Fragrant - Opinion2021
Note : Some response have been edited for distance and/or limpidity .
