" If my mum ever come up out about my dependence , it would destroy her . I feel shamefaced about it every daylight . "
I write a lot about secrets people are keeping on this website, and the best ones are always sent to me anonymously. I can’t include every secret in every post, which means I’ve been sitting on a whole bunch of secrets…
…that I’m now ready to let out. Here are the wildest, most heartbreaking, and most shocking never-before-told secrets I’m unearthing from the vault. Read on at your own risk.
bank note : These entry contain mentions of abuse , sexual rape , and drug use of goods and services .
1.“I lost my virginity at 13 to a bored housewife. Small town in Northwest Arkansas, I had a newspaper home delivery route, and usually collected the last week of the month. Her husband was a long-haul truck driver for a nationally known company. … He was usually home three days every two weeks. One month I came by to collect and she didn’t have cash to pay, didn’t want to write a check, and asked if I could let it slide for a month. I felt bad so I carried her. Next month same story. Third month I said nope, I can’t continue this, so she asked me to come inside and discuss. She basically propositioned me to ‘teach me all about women’ if I would let her slide paying for the paper.”
— Anonymous
2.“I once tried to poison my ex-husband. We were not getting along; the marriage was hard. He became abusive and controlling and had a lot of other girlfriends. If I talked about it he would become violent towards me and my son. I (in a moment of weakness) started adding tiny amounts of slug bait to his food. He used to travel for work a lot and when he was home he would become ‘ill.’ Once I accidentally added a bit too much poison to his food and he become really sick for a couple of days. It scared me…I guess I came to my senses. I stopped after that and told him to move out (that’s a whole other story). If I got caught who would raise my son? (That’s what made me come to my senses.) I’ve told four people in my whole life. I still don’t talk about it.”
3.“I moved abroad after graduating from high school. My mom had started a new relationship during the time I was away and I knew that when I was coming back home I was gonna leave for college again, so I never got to really meet the guy she was hanging out with nor his son, until we went to the beach as a new family' and got drunk. The son and I almost had sex, but my sister was in the same room.”
" She find out us make out and made us stop like a shot . ( THANK GOD ) I go forth for college after that summer and have only returned twice ever since . My momma got marital to his pappa and every clock time I come back he ’s always endeavor to ' polish off what we begin ' — I have never given in , plus he has two children of his own now . Also , this guy rope actually fucked mybest friendto which he had to admit to my mum and his dad cuz of an apparent STD . Imagine how my mom would react if she screw I had hooked up with him as well . "
4.“A member of our church congregation tried to groom me starting when I was 16. I say ‘tried to’ because I knew something was off about a grown-ass married man trying to be my friend, and he never actually succeeded at his end game of getting me into a threesome with him and his wife. My parents have no idea, and my dad especially can never find out. That would result in one of two outcomes: him saying it’s my fault because I came out asbisexualas a teenager, or him trying to kill the man who groomed me. I can’t handle either of those consequences.”
5.“I had an abortion at 18 years old. I had this relentless crush on this guy I met and the sex was out of this world. We had always used protection until we didn’t…later I found out he had an official girlfriend that was in college overseas. I became really depressed when I found out I was pregnant and asked him to help me pay for the abortion. He said he would but after we spoke he totally ghosted me.”
" One of my girlfriend from college help me cover the cost of the abortion and I have never regretted that decisiveness . I did n’t want to have a minor at 18 . have that abortion let me to earn my college degree , study afield as an exchange scholar and become a professional . Later , I had my only girl with my first husband . She was desired , planned and loved … and of course still is . The only the great unwashed that hump about my miscarriage is my college friend and my first married man and I will never tell anybody else . I was leaven by my grandparent and me getting pregnant at 18 out of wedlock would have devastate them , but worse than that , my gran would have been raging , since she occur from a very spiritual family . "
6.“When my wife was just my girlfriend, I was a groomsman in a good friend’s wedding. We did the wedding, the reception, and then finally out to a bar for drinks after. Well, the groom got so drunk he passed out and had to be carried back to the bridal suite. Meanwhile, the bride stayed with the rest of us and kept drinking. One thing lead to another and my girlfriend and I had a threesome with my friend’s bride on their wedding night.”
7.“I’ve been addicted to heroin since 2017. In 2019 I was diagnosed with cancer and used heroin the entire time, along with taking 150 Dilaudid a month, Klonopin, and Ambien. I almost died several times throughout my cancer treatment. Somehow I managed to beat cancer and have been in remission for a year and a half. I am still addicted to heroin, but I’m going into treatment next month and I’m so excited to move on from this addiction so I can really have a new start in life. If my mom ever found out about my addiction, it would destroy her. I feel guilty about it every day.”
8.“I was sexually molested by this old man as a child. I was around 10 or 11 when it started. We never really had much at home. This all started when my sisters and I would clean buildings for and with him. My dad started calling him my godfather. Somehow I began watching his granddaughter around 12 and he would come mess with me when we would be asleep. Now I’m friends with one of his older granddaughters…I never told my parents and will never tell her. She didn’t molest me. I have moved on, but I still remember. He’s dead now, so I win.”
9.“Our family doctor started to sexually abuse me from about the age of 14 through my high school years. I knew it was wrong, but never mentioned it to my family because this doctor was, and still is, the chosen one for almost literally saving my older brother’s life. He has since died, but my mother still sings his praises about his wonderful he is. I cannot bring myself to tell her or my brother the truth.”
10.“When I was a teenager, we lived a 20-minute walk from my aunt and uncle’s mansion. My aunt was selfish. She’d assign me and my father chores the minute we walked in the door. Her kids (the oldest was six years younger than me) would kick my shins the entire time. When they were at our home, their kids would jump on furniture, break things, steal things, and lie (in addition to shin-kicking) and their mother thought her kids could do no wrong. We’d often have to go their home for lunch on Saturdays and my mother was always very nervous about it. One Saturday when I was 15, I decided to get revenge on that family. I went into my aunt/uncle’s bedroom, took some of her jewelry, and placed it in my cousin’s underwear drawer. Then I took some of her makeup items and a pair of her panties and hid them in another drawer (so she’d think he was wearing them).”
" Later , when I did n’t feel like babysitting her kids , I said , ' Evan is a pervert , the last fourth dimension he was at my house I saw him in my mother ’s privy put on her lipstick , and everyone knows he likes wearing your pantie . ' It was all shit , but I know she was n’t go to start questioning him about something that was a tabu . A forgetful metre by and by , Evan was sent to boarding schooltime where things did n’t go well . He ran away three times ; on the third time , he got struck and killed by a railroad car on the highway . My auntie could n’t take it and had a nervous breakdown . My uncle could n’t take it either and start drinking . Then he drove drunk , injured someone , and got action , plus he got fired from his law house . They lost their sign , the next onetime son had a drug problem and ended up in jail at 16 for breaking into houses . The tyke go up back up out of poverty but it took years . I later found out that they see the poppycock I lay away in the drawer , figured the previous had done it , and direct him to boarding school because of it . I only intend to tell them the the true if I ever had the impulse to wound them again , but so far I have n’t . I feel no guilt for it . They were greedy and selfish to begin with . "
11.“My dad used to threaten to swap me with an orphan who would be more grateful for the life I had. Since that option was on the table, I started acting out (intentionally lying, talking back, making a nuisance of myself when company was over, misbehaving in school, etc.) in hopes he would make good on the threat. My poor mom had to deal with a lot of those behaviors, and I know it was stressful for her. I don’t think she really knows how bad things were with my dad, and he’s dead now anyway. I don’t know if it would be better to confess that I had done those things to get sent away or if I should just let her keep believing I was/am a shitty person.”
12.“My ex-husband was having an affair for two years behind my back with a girl half his age — he met her when he went back to college. We were married for 20 years and had a 10-year-old daughter. One day, he upped and left while we were out shopping and left me a lipstick note on our bathroom mirror and his ring by the sink.”
" I was devastate . He married her less than a yr after our divorcement and go her in two weeks after he kicked my daughter and I out of our home . It ’s been nine year and I am still suffering and I just ca n’t have go . I still neglect him terribly even though it ’s been so tenacious . My daughter who is now turn over 19 is the only one who knows how much I lack him and take care me still cry for him all the meter . It must be so hard for her to see me like this when she is still suffering too . I palpate terrible for her but I just ca n’t move on . "
13.“My brother had a bachelor party a few weeks before his wedding. My cousin attended, but I didn’t as I was out of the country. Turns out the brother of the bride brought a ton of coke and weed to the bachelor party, and ordered sex workers. Two came and a few of the guys went into the rooms with them, even my brother. … My cousin was so shocked that he ended up leaving. My brother was worried he would snitch so he … contacted him first thing in the morning and asked him if he remembered anything from last night; of course he said no as he was scared of potential threats. My brother called him a few times to make sure he wouldn’t say anything and said that it would be a big problem for my cousin if he did. My cousin obviously told me right away.”
" Since then I have lost all respect for my brother but I still keep in touch with him out of genetic obligation . I was never that tired of or horrified of someone ’s choice until then . His poor wife does n’t know to this day . To make thing worse , one of his acquaintance had a bachelor party and the same thing encounter again that my brother submit part in while married . I never looked at him the same way again . "
14.“I picked my teenage sister up from out of state when she ran away from our mother’s house because she was being abused. My mom still doesn’t know it was me 20+ years later.”
15.“I was raped by my uncle when I was 17, with my aunt downstairs and my cousin (his daughter) sleeping on the floor with my sister (I was sleeping on a futon). Him and my aunt had just come home from adate nightand he wasn’t even drunk or anything. I’m 30 now, and I’ve never said a word about it to my mom. No one in the family knows.”
I " also suspect racialism run a part at some subconscious level , although I only have circumstantial evidence . It has never explicitly been say , but my household is from the inscrutable South originally and bloodless . My swain is Black . Draw what conclusions from that you will . In short , the whole situation is a pile as far as it have-to doe with to my parent . I detest keep this a secret , but I ca n’t secernate them yet because I can not afford college on my own and that is the only direction I can have the vocation I want . My boyfriend knows and although we both detest the secrecy and cause to sneak around , he agrees it ’s for the skillful at the moment . We design to tell them as soon as I graduate ( I will be one yr behind him because my program is five years not four ) . Once that ’s done , the ball is in their courtyard as to whether they want to have a relationship with us or not . They can not quit us ; we will be getting conjoin whether they care it or not . Also I ’m both nonbinary and bisexual , and if my parents ever found out that especial mystery they would dead disown me . That ’s buttoned-down Christians for you , though . "
17.“Many moons ago, my senior year in college, a friend of mine and I went bar hopping. Five beers and three long island iced teas later, I made the STUPID decision to drive. Six blocks later, I hit a large black parked truck at about 30mph. I asked my pal if he was okay. Knowing if I got stopped, it’d be a sure fire DUI at the least. Hence, I took off. By the grace of God, we made it home safely. The next day I assessed the damage to my vehicle (which I’d recently paid off). The hood looked like a crumpled potato chip. My mom was on her way over to take me out to lunch. Lucky for me, I convinced her someone must have crashed into my car over night (I moved it to a place where it could have happened before my mom arrived. After which, she convinced our insurance co of the same. They covered it and our rates stayed the same. To this day, my pal and I are the only ppl who knew what happened that brisk fall night 35+ years ago.”
" I was exceedingly fortunate and I no longer drink . "
18.“When I was married to my former husband, I found out he was cheating. I didn’t tell him I knew. He just so happened to be allergic to spray starch. I secretly sprayed the starch heavily on every single pair of his underwear. He was itching so bad he actually went to the doctor because he thought he had an STD. He had to admit he was cheating and he moved out the following weekend. Sorry, not sorry.”
19.“I was sexually assaulted my first year of college by someone my best friend (at the time) introduced me to. I was newly out as a queer man and navigating my identity after coming from a small, conservative town, and being forced to come out. At the time, I didn’t think of this as an assault since it included a lot of gaslighting, emotional manipulation, and beliefs that I was the one at fault, not him. The years following resulted in a lot of shame, guilt, and body dysmorphia which I’m still reconciling with 10 years later. I haven’t told my parents about the assault and I don’t think I ever will.”
" We have a very tightlipped relationship since I moved out for college and I spend many year answering their interrogation about my gender , supporting them in understanding what being gay signify to me . I do n’t think differentiate them about the assault would hurt our kinship , but I have intercourse they would spin it into making it about them , as they did when I come out . They would say thing like , ' Why did n’t you tell us before ? , ' ' Why do n’t you entrust us ? , ' ' Are we not proficient enough parents for you to be honest with us ? ' So much sentence has past that I do n’t think recite them would function a purpose any longer , but I think this was the start of me pulling away from them in some aspects . While we ’re close , I ’m more selective as to what I share with them , specially in regards to geological dating / relationships . I have n’t told them about my body dysmorphia or leave eating disorderliness , as I roll in the hay for sure they could n’t deal it ( they ’ve told me this right away ) . Sometimes I ideate cutting all crosstie with them , but I know that would do more injury than good . "
20.“I was sexually abused by my first serious boyfriend in high school and it destroyed my idea of sexuality. For years I stayed away from sex and that trauma always stayed with me. My sex life is still very fucked up. My parents can never know about this because it will destroy them. They never liked that guy and wanted to protect me. I was depressed and my parents took me to therapist and never knew the reasons for my depression; they always thought it was because of my grades dipping.”
21.“I spent almost two years being in love with a 55-year-old, married man. (I’m 26 years his junior for reference). Eventually, he divorced his wife for me. However, he cheated on me with a friend of mine (25 at the time). We all ended up getting a house together. Within three months the entire thing imploded. It’s my greatest shame and embarrassment. I don’t plan on ever telling my boyfriend.”
22.“I had an abortion at 22 and still living with my parents. I never thought I’d get one, but unfortunately I put myself in a shitty situation. Paid for it myself with a little help from my boyfriend at the time — thankfully he was super supportive even though it probably wasn’t his (yeah, shitty situation). My family is conservative Christian so I will never tell them. I don’t regret my decision and it’s been seven years now; they don’t need to know.”
23.“I once was snooping around in my parents' room and found a 10 to 20 page manuscript my dad wrote (seemed to be written for my mom) and somewhere in it he mentioned how my mom got her tubes tied after having my younger sister. I have kept that to myself this whole time.”
24.“When I was 14/15 years old, I found out my father was cheating on my mom. She worked in ER overnight (12 to 16 hour shifts) and he would leave while she was gone and come back an hour before my mom would get home from work. Fast forward a year later, my father’s mistress’s daughter called my mom to tell her what was going on. Turns out he’d been cheating on my mom for five years and was practically raising his mistress’s daughters. It’s been 17 years and my mom still has no clue that I knew. My mom left my father and has now been happily married for 14 years to an amazing man who I consider my dad. Even though she’s happy and has been living her best life, I don’t have the heart to tell her.”
25.And finally, let’s end on one that’s a bit lighter/more petty: “I wore a beautiful white dress to my sisters wedding because I was so pissed off she didn’t ask me to be a bridesmaid. She has no idea that was my reason behind it and she did approve it but still, I know wedding etiquette and I did it through spite.”
submission have been edited for duration / clarity .
