" order raw coats for my kids and for public toilet I had them ship straightaway to their school ’s miss and regain surgical incision . " — @Chhapiness
If I had to put money down on which children’s TV character committed a crime, it would definitely be Peppa Pig. That rude little piglet would doanythingto learn how towhistle.
Getting ahead of the hearsay , smarthttps://t.co/Yh1AkIinyp
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1.
My son just informed me it ’s illegal for 9 year olds to eat broccoli .
2.
None of the parenting books said ANYTHING about having to relearn chemistry at 10 PM .
3.
Preschool want us to print out photos a make a collage of all our family penis , which is actually an unacceptable labor bc printing out photos is impossible but I run short to CVS , fight with the photo simple machine and DID IT . Got household , the 3yo was like " you forgot a photograph of the snail "
4.
I highly recommend my 5YO if anyone is looking to hire a rock moon curser
5.
At any given moment in time there is a 4 yr - honest-to-god shaver named Jaxxon absolutely lose his shit at a Chuck E Cheese
6.
I volunteered in my daughter ’s art class today . The teacher demonstrated how to draw a mouse on the whiteboard & the tyke draw at their desk . She said to add eyelashes . A petty male child shouts out “ No eyelash ! Mine is BOY.”To which I respond “ Do n’t you have eyelashes ? ”
7.
My supporter got my girls ooze for their bday so I ’m getting her girl a harp for hers .
8.
I have n’t watered my plants in calendar month and they ’re thriving!-my shaver not realizing what mammy do
9.
Asked my 10yo where she was going to obscure her candy so her sister could n’t find it , and she say “ my mouth ” and wheel her eyes because ask a stupefied head .
10.
me using the words genus Sus , drip and bussin ' right while talking to my teen kidspic.twitter.com/1yNN8sRIbj
11.
Giving my schoolroom gluesticks human names has been revolutionary . Does a student care if a glue stick goes lacking ? No ! Do they care if DEREK the glue joint has not been returned ? ABSOLUTELY . It ’s like a manhunt until Derek has been returned to his lawful spot .
12.
Passed a infirmary and my 4 yttrium / o observe , “ That ’s a good infirmary . They do n’t die you there , ” propose a glimpse into her succeeding calling in marketing .
13.
Now that my kidskin is in in high spirits schoolhouse , I ’m trying to be his mum sideline support organization , but last dark he order me his English instructor is making him put 2 spaces after a period , and HOW AM I conjecture TO NOT INTERVENE ? ! ?
14.
have small fry seems like a expectant idea until they start up telling you a tale .
15.
3 - year - old was singe quietly into a banana and without looking up from his video game , her brother said “ It ’s not on . You have to move around it on . ” So she pressed an allege clitoris on the banana and now she ’s singing very loudly into it ? Huh
16.
Me : morning are so chaotic . Every day it ’s like a mad panache to bundle lunch , make breakfast , and get everyone groom for school on time . conscientious objector - actor : Why do n’t you just meal prep over the weekend?Me : My kids are actually here during the weekend too , sorry for the confusion .
17.
Still waiting for my kid to get out of the car.pic.twitter.com/Lq79QSlJdK
18.
Ordered new coats for my small fry and for appliance I had them ship directly to their school ’s recede and found section
19.
When I hear a sister crying I need to tell them it ’s only going to get worse .
20.
[ 5:00 AM , in a harsh whisper]Daddy , do n’t occupy , you’re able to sleep . I ’m making my own breakfast , how do you turn on the stove?Me : I ’m up .
21.
We listen to the Thomas podcast w my 3yo & every time an engine has an American accent mark its ALWAYS a surfboarder dude accent . I was like “ it ’s an interesting selection to have them all be bros ” , then I realized that ’s it ’s just British actors doing what they cerebrate is a normal US accent .
22.
Of the 4 people hold out in this star sign , I ’m the only one who did n’t immediately examine to touch the new cactus houseplant
23.
My teen say I ’m plaguy but not the most annoying person she ’s ever met and that sounds like a challenge to me .
24.
My fry are running feverishness and fell at rest on either side of me so now I have sex how it feel to guy like a gas station red-hot wiener .
25.
8 was ride his wheel and fell and scrape up up his knee passably good . he can still stand and move it but knowing him he will be unable to take the air or do any daily chores for 7 - 10 business days .
26.
When I was a tyke I passed a police officer who said “ Hi [ my name ] ” . I could n’t conceive police just knew everyone ’s names . My mom goes “ oh ya , they know everything” . I was wearing a lid , with my name on it .
27.
My Kyd have no idea how much my nerve is full when they say those three magic words , “ You ’re embarrassing me . ”
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