" My daughter wrote a account style ' My mama Loves Coke ' but did n’t clarify it was the soda and now I ’m nervous for parent - teacher group discussion " — @KatieDeal99
I’m absolutely positive that the golden rule was written by a parent, because children can truly be unrepentantly vicious.
Be tolerant , you never love who ’s already been humbled by their own child today
Make sure you follow all these hilarious parents on Twitter!
1.
Child : I ca n’t wait to be an grownup . Me [ shaving my ears ] : Yeah it ’s great .
2.
I told my 3yo Elliot I saw a deer in our yard & he goes “ I ’ll tell the other Elliots ” and I laughed , then later he explained he said that bc in an ep of Thomas a diesel string identify Diesel said “ ill state the other diesels ” which is smart but also how confusing must it be to be 3
3.
Today , one of my kids showed me her to do lean organize by discipline and urgency , and my other kid walked into the wall while judge to read a book .
4.
In case you are under the mistaken impression that I am a good conversationalist , I need you to know that I just held up my very chubby 4 - month - old at branch ' duration and asked him , " do you enjoy being a nestling ? " and he spat up on me
5.
8 atomic number 39 / o me at 9:00 pm preparing to evidence my mom I need 24 cupcake for tomorrowpic.twitter.com/XLE1TrAQ2A
6.
when i met him , i should ’ve recognized the ruddy flags because he immediately wanted to move in with me . 11 months later he still has no occupation or money and i ca n’t do anything without him watching my every move.like , i get laid he ’s my son but he ’s get ta get it together .
7.
Ca n’t wait to tell my grandkids how we survived the transposition from double space to single spaces after a period .
8.
Normal people : hey I just ran out of shampoo . I need some moreTeenagers : hey I ran out of shampoo like 5 months ago why have n’t you gotten me more yet ?
9.
My girl write a history title “ my mom make love coke ” but did n’t clarify it was the soda and now I ’m nervous for parent - teacher conference
10.
Me : thinking I ’m doing a good occupation civilise my childrenMy 7yo : All nub is just different chickens
11.
I called a driver in the school drop off line a changeling and 7 very solemnly said … Santa hear that .
12.
my daughter was 4 when her crony was accept and she told me “ you really hurt my feelings when you had that baby ! ”
13.
the “ meet me in the restroom ” was very forrard for a 5th grader but then it makes sentience when you find out she ’s trying to throw hands
14.
My oldest legit just say : it ’s pretty rarefied that the prototype is the skillful version but here I am
15.
I ’m so proud of my girl for make this fox all by herself and also I ’m never fucking sleeping again.pic.twitter.com/2HdoXhhpOF
16.
What ’s this ? You made me a coke orb out of a baby food jounce and glitter ? Sweetheart , we ’ve been over this . Daddy only wants presents you corrupt with money from a store .
17.
My 5yo visit a signal while we repulse to school & said it meant no crashing into the story . It was a no U - turn signaling .
18.
My kid is asking me doubt like “ what is ethics , ” and I just desire to rewind to the “ do mermaid have sex what trouser are ” point because it was easy .
19.
Am I destitute to make plans ? Yes . Will one of my family be ill on that day ? Also yes .
20.
My girl call in out my husband ’s first name and tell him to do thing and I just wonder where she find out to address to her father that way
21.
10 : this game take forever to download ! It film like almost 1 minuteme : * laughs in dial - up *
22.
I will always and forever be stanchly PRO - BREASTFEEDING.Not because chemical formula is substandard or can not aliment a child as well ( I do not conceive this)but for the sake of the MOTHERbecause I believe in the SANCTITY of an AIRTIGHT EXCUSE to fudge out of ANY give SOCIAL SITUATION .
23.
My child : can I have more applesMe : Did you finish the apples I already gave you?My small fry : yesMy kid ’s denture : pic.twitter.com / IhSDOiCQXs
24.
Podcasters be like “ Hello Fresh is fellowship favorable . Even my pickiest eater loves their spinach salmon truffle mac and cheese ” like gripe why you lying .
25.
14 ( on some shirt bought her ): " I have a go at it them ! These will be PERFECT for when I wanna clothes like a swot ! "
26.
My 3yo came home from school demented that one of the boys poke her in the centre . I expect if she talked to her teacher about it and she said yes , but the instructor did n’t have a chance to handle it because then the boy fell out of his chairperson and broke both his blazonry . uncertain if lies .
27.
Tonight I made my kids angry at me and I had to apologize . I ’m going to say you what I did so you’re able to memorize from my error … .. please see , I ’m just a human . I flunk . Okay . I made them a plum torte and dish it with vanilla ice emollient .
28.
My 5 year honest-to-goodness is going to be a witch for Halloween . But she does n’t want to wear off a lid . No wig , either . The black dress ? Too fidgety . Oh , and she ’s not down with dark-green makeup . The only part of the costume she care is the heather . My 5 class previous is going to be a janitor for Halloween .
Don’t miss the funniest tweets by parents last week:
27 Hilarious parent Who Pulled perfectly No puncher On Twitter Last workweek
…or the funniest tweets by parents in September!
I Can not Overstate How Wildly Hilarious These 47 Tweets By parent Are
