" I hate when multitude say ' you seem timeworn . ' I have youngster , this is just how I count now . " — @mom_needsalife
Halloween is tomorrow, so RIP to every parent who has 24 hours to find a new costume for their kid!!!
It should be illegal for your kids to change their Halloween part without giving you a 30 24-hour interval notice
Make sure you follow all these hilarious parents on Twitter!
1.
My son are all select a week break from electronics . This break of the day I introduce myself to them and show them around our home . then I took them outside and demonstrate them the big bright light in the sky .
2.
Whenever my 3yo say , " Mommy WUVS to have drinks for GROWN - UPS " I feel a mild stab of regret that we chose this term to discourage him from invariably asking to try my seltzer
3.
At what point did you become completely overwhelmed by your child ’s math homework ? For me it was October 24th of third grade .
4.
catch a mommy alone with her 3 kids at the pumpkin patch say “ cat we have to go or we will be late to Sky Zone ” , that ’s a gentlewoman who is pay the price to have the best sleep of her lifetime .
5.
7 : mom look I got my math run back!me : you got 35 out of 35 that ’s 100 % i m so proud of you!7 : cool , so 35 and 35 is 100?me : … like I said , said proud …
6.
shaver : daddy watch thisme : okkid : * incomprehensible movementsme : that was — kid : I have n’t finished yet * more confusing movementsme : kid : * out of hint * ok doneme : that was really smashing lulu
7.
Told my boy I go into labor on thanksgiving but he came on Black Friday and he require me if I get a discount .
8.
My yearling is start to be originative and draws a slew . specially on the couch .
9.
why does he even need shampoo??pic.twitter.com / TaBWwouOZk
10.
“ Can you get my urine , mommy ? ” — My nestling , still in possession of the perfectly healthy leg I spent 9 month uprise for him
11.
My period was late this calendar month and my first thought after realizing it was , “ I ’m too young to be pregnant”Let the reader understand ; I ’m weeks aside from 29 and already have two fry .
12.
“ What , is your brain lowly than the Grinches heart?”-My 6yo absolutely roast me
13.
never ceases to amaze me how much puke is contain inside a petite mortal .
14.
my 9yo : is n’t it eldritch how cock has two meanings?me:9 : yeah a cock and … you get it on … um … like how you cock a gun.me : * wipes sweat from brow *
15.
Kid math is having a 6 seater sofa but only desire to sit direct on top of mammy
16.
I had the audacity to secern my kid to get their own collation and now I ’m standing in the corner thinking about my action .
17.
Update : per teacher feedback she is meeting her developmental milestone & her best-loved activity is eating.https://t.co/YMfc9CZ9r0
18.
tell your child their sib is still asleep a very effective way to get them to exercise their instrument .
19.
My 4 - year - old does n’t have shoal on Mondays and she has been talking nonstop for 5 hours , and that ’s why I did n’t even detect that the song she was singe for 15 minute while we browsed Home Goods moderate only the lyric “ If you get move over in the parking lot you will die ”
20.
Thanks Amazon , you propose more conflicting reviews than my tyke when I necessitate who started the combat .
21.
my sister often runs latterly , so my dada always tell her to get in 30 mins originally than she needs to . she caught on to this and commence trying to arrive 30 Hokkianese late , but now she only race late beyond that . will my dad now set her even earlier group meeting times ? this could spiral
22.
a preoccupied planetary house , but it ’s just my kids taking brand new batteries and mixing them up with all in batteries they ’re changing out .
23.
I detest when people say “ you see tired . ”I have nipper , this is just how I look now .
24.
adolescent be like , “ You have sex that collapse up piece of newspaper that ’s been on the table all week ? I need it for school . ”
25.
Every solar day is a new opportunity for a tiddler to dig their parents ' eyes out .
26.
My husband is out of township this calendar week . My child have been soooo honest . It ’s almost like they know they ’re overqualified for this mates . It ’s no play when your antagonist is levels below you lmao
27.
The walkway of shame but it ’s my toddler handing back his string cheese because he could not in fact open it himself
28.
You ca n’t keep running off from your problems , you ’re getting older and your kids are getting quicker
29.
10yo : If I cash in one’s chips before you , will you be sad?Teen : Teen : Teen : belike not . At least she thought about it before she answered .
30.
small fry be like mom look at me when you ’re driving 70 mph on the freeway .
31.
Picked my oldest up from school an hour early on , unwitting , with McDonald ’s , because the picture plot he require for his birthday next week throw today and I drop all cockcrow download it and I could n’t await . He better put me in the * nicest * nursing home someday .
Don’t miss the funniest tweets by parents last week:
I Can not Overstate How Hysterical These 29 tweet By Parents Are
…or the funniest tweets by parents in September!
I Can not Overstate How Wildly Hilarious These 47 Tweets By parent Are
