" Happy National Boyfriend Day to the six - month situationship that derail my life but will live on in my philia forever . "
We’re more than halfway through ~spooky season~, but there have already been a ton of amazing jokes from Twitter this month! There’s no way you’ll read all of these without cackling like a witch. Enjoy!
And follow the explanation that made you laugh so your Twitter timeline will be even better !
1.
forge In Office is soooo degrading why am I cycle 3 mile in slack at 8 am with a jar of squawk sweat in my backpack
2.
pic.twitter.com/dHzfZLGeSA
3.
used to work in a coffee berry workshop in 39th and Lennox . He would come in every Wednesday on his lunch severance and get the special with a hot chocolate . My director used to be trip cause we supposed to use H2O , I would always employ Milk River and cream for him cause I think he was sweet 👀 https://t.co/eXJkSq2CYe
4.
pic.twitter.com/ypuJ6nR49o
5.
having a convo w someone and “ Rebecca1182839 ” like your replypic.twitter.com/zT4bqGlz5 t
6.
My dildo came and my mom nosey screw afford my package now I have to inhabit with my auntpic.twitter.com/AWwHSc1WqL
7.
lady in the gymnasium : “ i can take over you right-hand quick!”me : sureher : * stands me in front of her client , twirl me around * “ you see how his shank goes in ? he ’s lean”me : pic.twitter.com / r0UHI6voS5
8.
pic.twitter.com/WLpxHNA2hChttps://t.co/7WhTm0TP1D
9.
you ’ve served your time?https://t.co / Zl0KL3tjvn
10.
This is how I feel go away on a date apppic.twitter.com/gmbFVsYycO
11.
Everybody is declare Vegas residencies it seems like nobody wants to go on go anymore….get your ass up and come to my citypic.twitter.com/IkC2AVv94V
12.
Apple featured exposure always be the most aroused moments with an ex & the funnest day with a good friend you accrue out with .
13.
Emailing recruiters “ not concerned ? 👀 ” when I do n’t hear back from a line program
14.
- Someone view you on Grindr*pic.twitter.com / g1RARxocQX
15.
My baby made me an imaginary pizza pie . I started eating it saying “ mmmm it ’s so good . ”She said , “ You did n’t take it out the box”pic.twitter.com/I9pKRJd0mP
16.
call that ravishment and bobberypic.twitter.com/KORrp5kpZU
17.
despite the revulsion there is always take edible on lounge
18.
how do I mould meaningful friendships as an grownup without enrolling in grad school or joining a cult
19.
Finished the ( 1 ) roll of toilet paper in my airbnb and asked the horde where I could observe extra and he said the supermarketpic.twitter.com/RH9a17nj1s
20.
https://t.co/5htm6uYUBspic.twitter.com/FaBiTJa2MU
21.
I yawned in the baseball club last night and my homegirl tell “ do n’t wee me off ” 😭
22.
damn . everybody get pregnantpic.twitter.com/V8jNcpNbUN
23.
When I was catch onto my train someone drive me ( normal ) and I accidentally stepped on a ( Russian ? ) lady base . I apologised extravagantly and sit down . Would you believe that when I was getting off she tramp down on both of my foot and shouted “ like this you did me . ”
24.
Mepic.twitter.com/6hC6UPcXYb
25.
when they go low , i go lowerpic.twitter.com/hW9Z2DsliT
26.
when he finishes in doggy n just has you there like : pic.twitter.com / QRcQGoRphu
27.
me right after everyone just finished sing happy birthdaypic.twitter.com/9P7AwNEg0 t
28.
When my candle tells a good joke but I ’m about to leave the housepic.twitter.com/q0997GMfwF
29.
open up g***r and realizing I changed my show name to “ ⬇ ️ ” when I was drnk last weekendpic.twitter.com/KsQgJSkVYN
30.
Rip to Mikepic.twitter.com/RklUKqxjrm
31.
“ The Cover Charge Is … Me : pic.twitter.com / w4T5J4CBcm
32.
who consecrate the poopoo platterhttps://t.co/8LHSDWSMPy
33.
? Guess not.https://t.co/N28PgqxFV8
34.
Girls will tolerate unearthly tragedies and still scarper errands the same Clarence Shepard Day Jr. with a grinning on their face but if a human beings ’s parents divorcement when he is 12 he will let loose his wrath on the world for the rest of his life history
35.
no cuz having a British bf is a humbling experience i ’ll be making up drama in my head and start bastard and my bf will just say “ what u on about ” and I just am like yeah ok lemme shut up
36.
happy national bf day to the 6 calendar month situationship that derailed my aliveness but will live on in my substance forever
37.
those paris seam bugs showing up to every fashion afterpic.twitter.com/ibhdsfbedF
38.
[ grit my teeth as a cleaning lady shows me a meme on her phone ] Snoopy would n’t do that . That ’s not real .
39.
that weird smell you get every time you front at an AI generate paradigm is because they ’re not of god btw
