gravelly stuff , folks . very harsh stuff .
If you just had the absolute worst month ever, just remember…
1.The person who gave their car a new sleek, modern look:
2.The person who will be picking rice out of their keyboard until the cows come home:
3.The person who was nice enough to give their phone a little snack:
4.The person whose beanbag chair went absolutely nuclear:
5.The person who made a terrible, terrible mistake:
6.The person whose package got nice and smooshed:
7.The person whose brisket came out juuuuuust right:
8.The person whose lasagna is in and of itself a testament to man’s folly:
9.The person who picked the absolute worst place to park that day:
10.The person who will never park all willy-nilly again:
11.The person who got trapped in a prison of their own making:
12.The person who enjoyed a fresh bowl of Oop! All Ants:
13.The person who’s gonna be eating good for lunch today:
14.The person who let the entire world know what was going on with their body:
15.The person who experienced true tragedy:
16.The person who may just be the sweatiest man on Earth:
17.The person who made an enemy for life with a woodland creature today:
18.The person who got betrayed by the slurp:
19.The person who was nice enough to let their little buddy get a quick brush in:
20.The person who also made an enemy for life with a different woodland creature:
21.The person whose computer took a tumble:
22.The person who found their AirPods safe and sound at the dump:
23.The person who will replay this moment over and over in their head:
24.The person whose soup opened a portal to the netherworld:
25.The person whose finger looks like it’s seen some…well, you know what:
26.The person who will now always quadruple-bag their trash:
27.The person whose cheese was evidently tampered with by some dark-sided stuff:
28.The person who got that roach squeaky clean:
29.The person who got, well, fleas:
30.The person who got the world’s hardest soft tortilla:
31.The person who had quite possibly the worst thing I’ve ever seen happen to them:
32.The person whose entire home office is now well caffeinated:
33.The person who made a few wrong turns in life:
34.The person whose college diploma got di-folda’d:
35.The person whose soda had a little extra sting to it:
36.The person who will rue the day he bought those tongs:
37.The person whose sneezes probably register on the Richter scale:
38.The person who just invented caffeinated yogurt:
39.The person who might now be resistant to every disease known to humankind:
40.The person faced with this impossible task:
41.The person who might want to buff out that scratch on their phone:
42.The person who will apparently live out the rest of their days in the interview room:
43.The person who experienced true Crocs devastation:
44.The person who saved their beloved succulent…but at what cost:
45.The person who learned a lesson humans have been learning since time immemorial:
46.The person who might want to watch their sodium intake after this one:
47.The person who came home to a little, fun surprise:
48.The person who will be finding little grains of rice until the cows come home yet again:
49.The person who had a little friend say hello during some hair drying:
50.And Curt:
