" it happened to me : i finally answered an email i had been putting off & the person responded right away & now i ’m back to square one " — @sarahroseetter
Summer 2023 is officially over, which means the Seasonal Depression Shift from Manic to Nostalgic is upon us. But these 52 funniest tweets by women from this summer will ease the transition!
natural spring : depressed in a hopeful waysummer : get down in a frenzied wayfall : depressed in a nostalgic waywinter : deject in a low manner
Make sure you follow all these hilarious ladies on Twitter!
1.
have n’t smoked weed in like 3 years and tonight I did and at first I was like oh why do n’t I do this any longer it ’s dainty ! and now i ’m at the club manually breathing
2.
once I was on a fancy dinner date have a cocktail with a little folio in it . my date & I liked the drinks so much we ordered more . we then watched the bartender walk out to the sidewalk & pull leaf out of a pasture patch acquire near the road . then she bring us the new drinks .
3.
My line of work is just … Meetingpic.twitter.com/j6V8UoPuHG
4.
who ’s my primary care doctor ? that ’s me & my 18 undefended web browser tabs , babe
5.
idk how to describe it but when the veterinarian reach the dog our last name for clarification , it ’s too silly . Like yes , my domestic dog ’s last name is technically mine , but her last name should just be “ the Dog ”
6.
Not to fathom like I voted for Reagan or something but just how many new heater shop do we postulate really fhdjdjdjdjd
7.
Husband and I were playing scrabble in a bar , upstate NY . gentleman’s gentleman await over and startle conversation so we ask for him to join . I played the tidings ‘ MEAT ’ . He ask , “ are bad words hunky-dory ? ” . We laugh , say yes . So he sum some letter to meat . Guys . I trust to god his discussion was ‘ MEATCUNT ’
8.
New neighbor came over and introduced himself with a bottle of vino . I told him we ’ll have to have a glass with my husband . He gone say “ I think that was your brother and y’ all had a daycare”.pic.twitter.com/LiUeC90Sjq
9.
the feminine itch to say “ that must be Nigel with the brie ” every time the doorbell rings
10.
It Happened To Me : I DM’d a friend and ask why I have n’t seen her online in a while and then I make it ’s because I muted her .
11.
i said “ girl dinner ” while going down on my partner and she did n’t laugh should we call off the marriage ceremony
12.
Robert Oppenheimer and barbie has nothing on slight woman and the rise of skywalker playing next to each other at the theaters in 2019 . beth was dying at the beach and through the walls the imperial march theme was blasting 😭 at her funeral you could get wind the lightsabers 😭
13.
When I got back from my outpouring today , there was a Who Framed Roger Rabbit VHS resting outside my apartment . This is a manoeuvre used by human vendor to mark their next victim . I was spared this time but I just want to let the girlies know.pic.twitter.com/YnxXj5g0 Pa
14.
i just stubbed my toe in a fashion that made me understand nihilism
15.
Have never name more with anyone than I just did with the woman who walked into the grocery store in front of me , shook her head , say “ I ca n’t be make these variety of conclusion today ” and walk right back out
16.
sorry i deflower the vibe by bringing up logistics until the plan was fully formed and feasible
17.
yell out to the adult female in the hot dog eating contest who eat 2 dog in 5 minute … no free-enterprise stripe no importunity just taking the point for a light lunch
18.
my sister did n’t remember that i left this morningpic.twitter.com/Qoe8GDtRF6
19.
My mom teasingly asked me if someone I was hang out with lately was my girlfriend and it just felt really validating because it was one of the first times you ever directly acknowledged my sexuality without judging … and then I had to admit I had no game or lady friend
20.
you could be fighting for your life-time and then have to talk to your roommate in the kitchen
21.
if a woman tells you you have “ nice deal ” she is doing everything in her power not to get laid you senseless please unblock her from her torment her friends are receiving the kinds of messages someone in prison would beam
22.
foundation is everywherepic.twitter.com/bEawHaHp9 g
23.
I call for a query in a meeting and no one answer so I said “ Bueller ? ” and my confrere said “ there ’s no one here by that name here ” . Please send out wine-colored and a headhunter to my hole in the ground .
24.
david attenborough : this is a baby seal , he is famish to deathme : :( david : his mother has found foodme : :) david : there is a opposite bear nearby who will eat the pupme : :( david : the pup draw a favorable escapeme : :) david : the polar bear will now starveme : :(
25.
yelling “ babble , my angel of music ” to the toad frog loudly croaking outside my window
26.
Casually aver that I go for Beyoncé add her tour of duty back to Europe and my Mam like a shot answer , " Amy , you ’re 31 , you should be hoping sake rate come down"pic.twitter.com / i2aSQJfk5o
27.
being seasick is so funny . you ’ll be in meridian physical health & then you ’ll make the misapprehension of glancing at your telephone in the backseat of an Uber going just 25 mph
28.
RIP Jane Austen . You would have make love the ability to Zillow someone ’s house .
29.
me : i would wish to reformat a footnotemicrosoft word : k*ll yourself
30.
wtfpic.twitter.com/eUw96Rw9vo
31.
one time i was talking to an italian ( from italy ) guy online and he kept saying i should claver and i was like , ' do n’t italians hate fat people ? ' and he was like , ' no , you would be exotic to our pervert '
32.
it bump to me : i finally answer an e-mail i had been putting off & the person answer properly forth & now i ’m back to second power one
33.
Met some masses who worked at an Escape Room and their most hated customer was a guy who would take all his date there and pretend he was a genius
34.
your body 30 Min dialect after eat beanspic.twitter.com/wZJYObDRqd
35.
If people actually transition to gain an advantage in high school extracurriculars ( rather than , you know , because it ’s what ’s in their nub ) , we would see WAY more cutthroat theater girls becoming boys to get well purpose .
36.
I ’m not fleeceable enough to be lured into a cult but I am nosy enough
37.
38.
The copywriter who writes Reformation ’s email is so brainsick I never bed what i ’m going to getpic.twitter.com/tQaPPFzbDA
39.
" wow you re like , really into ani difranco " oh i guess people are nt allowed to be bisexual anymore
40.
bear masses in your life with genuine job is so humiliating . just call my brother and he straightaway picked up like “ hey is everything ok ? ” and I said “ yeah I just wanted to chat :) ” and he said “ oh okay well . it ’s the center of the working day ” my bad
41.
the absolute terror of a random dude liking 17 of your Instagram posts in a course
42.
I ca n’t explain why but this outfit is Melania Trump to mepic.twitter.com/kjKRAKldAg
43.
Americans : I employ Roman mile and poundsEuropeans : I practice kilometres and kilogramsCanadians : [ snort a line of motley measuring organization ] I ’m 5'3 , I weigh 150lbs , horses weigh 1000kgs , my house is an hour away and I drive 80 km / h to get there , I ask a cup of flour and 1L of Milk River
44.
the Victorians were so fucking laughable like tuberculosis was vex it was killing all of them and they were like wait … what if we … made this the beauty standard … ?
45.
me stress to start a conversation with a stranger at a partyhttps://t.co/oSdzvdli9q
46.
I told my husband “ brb , I ’m going to take some gist out , ” and he aver “ when you fall back , can you take my meat out , too . ” Everyday , I ’m fighting for my life.pic.twitter.com/KqTUoU7xHh
47.
i detest when energy drinks are marketed toward work force . what could they possible need energy for ? telling prevarication ? ?
48.
Congratulations on operate 40 hours ! You are now devoid to dissociate for 2 days
49.
ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to depend at three or four screen door at once
50.
thinking about the fact that Lady took a enceinte americano and a doughnut straight to the dome every morn … lady friend must have been digging trap in the yard for an integral 9 minute shift after thispic.twitter.com/t47M0A4CpC
51.
i remember one of the biggest problem hassle jest literacy right now is that people would rather believe a woman is dazed than kidding
52.
I detest to say it , but ever since Blake Shelton was distinguish sexy man alive things have been in butchery .
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