" My eyebrow pierce fell out , and my mom look up to the sky and thanked Jesus . I ’m so mad right now . "
Somehow, another year has flown right by and we only have a month left in 2023. With time going by so quickly, you might’ve missed some of these hilarious tweets from this month. Enjoy!
And come after the accounts that made you laugh so your Twitter timeline will be even better !
1.
one thing about me is i will always take the chance to turn a tiny piddling unobtrusive pimple into an oozing gaping wounding that will pit my face for month to come
2.
someone pass away at my job today and the paramedics were fine asf
3.
gay doctor asked me if i was a top , bottom , or “ no fun at all”pic.twitter.com/Ci622rcYvX
4.
joan of arc was only 19 when they burned her active … she should ’ve been at the club
5.
the one sentence i tried to go on a thanksgiving cousin take the air nobody would smoke with me so i finish a joint by myself and get so paranoid that i went back inside and told my female parent that i was so gloomy for what me being born did to her life
6.
pic.twitter.com/7kdLU2KJic
7.
my eyebrow pierce fell out and my mom looked up to the sky and give thanks jesus i m so mad rn
8.
How do I politely ask my swain to discontinue saying our cad “ ai n’t no diva ”
9.
I hate it herepic.twitter.com/6y3xuMGN5u
10.
me after cough my lungs out from a fat hitpic.twitter.com/m2G6VpvMiR
11.
this is how it feels to redownload flexible joint btwpic.twitter.com/Noy9QBoQHX
12.
pass away to somebody else ’s category ’s thanksgiving and just doing this the whole timepic.twitter.com/CQLF2TYFIh
13.
Me refuse to leave his house in the middle of the night . I ’ll leave in the dawn like a lady.pic.twitter.com/1VIBMCEhUW
14.
one time i panicked and enjoin “ p for prostitution”https://t.co/5YT1cs2e75
15.
Y’all not tired of eating like Pit bulls?https://t.co / NjRvhEHtXb
16.
I love that Hinge ’s slogan is “ designed to be blue-pencil . ” mighty you are , Hinge ! ! It was dead designed to make me feel so discouraged , so dead hopeless , so ego - shattered that in ordering to save my own life I have no selection but to banish it from my phone evermore
17.
blessing is at my property this yr and my mother came over to cook . I ran to the store for her , and when I do back she said “ I was just about to call you to corrupt a turkey baster , but I rule one under the sinkhole ” tell me why she was using MY DOUCHE ! pic.twitter.com/RCAlCp33Nd
18.
my auntie say she was thankful for the adept family in the world and I sound out “ when are they come ? ” and it MURDERED
19.
my auntie said my fiddling cousin could n’t see his ipad during thanksgiving dinner party and he bewilder this pie at the floor 😭 pic.twitter.com/ANT2LM9nMv
20.
We just witness out my grandmother has been lying about having a dementedness diagnosis for over a class for aid omg stunt queenpic.twitter.com/yJZtFmncga
21.
turkey getting take out of the oven in american households todaypic.twitter.com/ENnUqG2fks
22.
me at thanksgiving dinnerpic.twitter.com/J6FVAP5qbs
23.
accidentally said that valet de chambre is fine around my female parent and she said “ right-hand ” then catch up with it….we just star at each other
24.
book a eating house for my anniversary . They called me and told me the eatery burnt down…pic.twitter.com/KOMfAsJaeI
25.
pic.twitter.com/fw6OiUuFJn
26.
Gym boyfriend is here with his REAL boyfriendpic.twitter.com/sT8uLpCoNZ
27.
https://t.co/XieldAOGempic.twitter.com/AhF1CMdPum
28.
this haircut is piss ME AWFFFFFFF!!!pic.twitter.com / RjDWsWTIFu
29.
Just get a “ sorry too untested for me ” on Grindrpic.twitter.com/qyTe865K2o
30.
her : atomic number 92 better not be inheriting the land when i get homemy meek ass : pic.twitter.com / IyiIH0AT7u
31.
It ’s literally datapic.twitter.com/vKT2cly3Px
32.
when a square person ’s spotify wrapped issue forth up on the timelinepic.twitter.com/r1ca8hx4dW
33.
when a weird guy is hot it ’s rlly cool but when a hot bozo is weird it ’s seriously so scarey
34.
having gay roommates is so unserious bc what do you mean “ we should watch every springy performance of god is a woman and range them ” NO we should do the dish
35.
how it feel using all of my possession to not say “ this is just like sex and the city ” every 3 minute while getting luncheon with friendspic.twitter.com/olIpHLJQuG
36.
Me after reading the sentence “ This is n’t your Mother ’s Mean Girls”pic.twitter.com/GQTmRtpmrC
37.
My hang plants whenever I water thempic.twitter.com/Z4HahhEC2W
38.
this is literally the great style to end a convohttps://t.co/KoMQFrCuzd
39.
me every clock time I smokepic.twitter.com/ScvEBVlrSu
40.
if you were elevate by a “ burgers are just as good without the bun ” mom you may be entitled to financial compensation for the psychological damage you tolerate
41.
Sooo frigid outdoors … UNIQLO Heattech spare me . Save me UNIQLO Heattech …
42.
https://t.co/mO87OuIDjMpic.twitter.com/DWb02TOhfC
43.
me adjoin rihannapic.twitter.com/tFy0g5G1kW
44.
when someone insult me but it ’s actually a pretty originative one that i ’ve never find out beforepic.twitter.com/fmwIF4W1u7
45.
customers starting to call me by my name now…pic.twitter.com/R70ts4CE5c
46.
8AM before 7AM onyour 9 - 5 your daylight offpic.twitter.com/k0gi9Siugz
47.
hollo it a situationship is crazy when the situation is they do nt need uranium
48.
landlord rulepic.twitter.com/0VUhwXIxtT
49.
“ Unlimited PTO ” when a real live laugh lover shows up … .pic.twitter.com / yY6rrx0sRi
50.
Taylor Swift has a man flying oversea to see her and I ca n’t even get a text backMy booster : yea you ’re also not worth a billion dollarspic.twitter.com/vnfE5bfJPe
51.
when u smile at a baby in public and they smile backpic.twitter.com/t18nsI5Sg4
52.
if u on a company flyer , u jus too deeply in the street for me
53.
Hormones ? I certainly hope she does
54.
How i be staring at the client while neither of us acknowledge we go to High School together for 4 yearspic.twitter.com/xR3C5f75Gl
55.
me : * on a day of the month * i ’m from a humbled homebob the detergent builder : * bites backtalk * how break
56.
post - indeed lucidity when you shut the app and ur like " man I hope the oyster shucker job does n’t give out "
