That ’s not what you want to pass at all .
1.The person who hit literally the only thing they should have tried to avoid:
2.The person whose kitchen is a testament to man’s folly:
3.The person whose bacon has seen things…terrible things:
4.The person who caused an international eggcident:
5.The person whose package finally found its eternal resting place:
6.The person who was kind enough to share “Today’s Top Hits” with Pennywise:
7.The person whose car is in very, very safe hands:
8.The person who had to use military technology to see how much of a ding-dong they are:
9.The person whose package is hanging out with Pennywise now:
10.The person who really probably should have noticed this:
11.The person who now has a whole new set of problems on their hands:
12.The person with the stinkiest house this side of the mighty Mississipp:
13.The person with the most Italian keyboard this side of the mighty Tiber-sipp:
14.The person who now knows what it’s like to be a dog:
15.The person who will never, ever get home:
16.The person whose cat will be forever immortalized in their kitchen:
17.The person whose pizza rolls have been cooked by Beelzebub himself:
18.The person who proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that God observes our suffering on Earth with an indifferent eye:
19.The person who should never have investigated that sound:
20.The person who’s about to get MAXIMUM vitamins:
21.The person whose car belongs to the road now:
22.The person who got one of nature’s noodles in their ramen:
23.The person who might want to watch their sodium intake:
24.The person who got a few extra toppings on their cupcake:
25.The person who might want to go find a hose:
26.The person who was kind enough to let their cat tenderize their pie with their feet:
27.The person who is now trapped forever and ever and ever:
28.The person who had a kind stranger test their ice cream for them:
29.The person who decided to really stir things up with this recipe:
30.The person whose pair of glasses is now one with the forest:
31.The person whose window lived out their sky-diving dream:
32.The person whose bed is now the world’s largest plate:
33.The person whose pizza was really screwed up:
34.The person who got their heart broken by a sign:
35.The person who would give ol' Keith Moon a run for his money:
36.The person whose rear end is about to be filled to the brim with diet cola:
37.The person who really screwed up:
38.The person who messed with the wrong (nonvenomous) snake:
39.The person who got the new limited-edition third-grader PS5 controller:
40.The person who’s going to enjoy staring at the seat in front of them for the next six hours:
41.The person whose table spontaneously combusted:
42.The person whose ham has seen things…terrible things:
43.The person whose hoop dreams will stay just that — dreams:
44.The person who is in for a very moist flight:
45.The person who is about to have a very enjoyable day at the dentist:
46.The person whose curry shall curry no more:
47.The person who got a little extra flavoring with their latte:
48.The person whose water is getting SUPERCHARGED:
49.And the person whose chips look as if they were purchased in the 14th century:
50.The person whose oven is doubled over in pain:
51.The person whose turkey was evidently cooked by Satan himself:
52.The person whose phone was destroyed to an almost comical degree:
53.The person who had some nice, chickeny coffee:
54.The person who gazed into the abyss and the abyss looked back:
55.The person who will never have to worry about eye wax now:
56.The person who loves their bird very much, I’m sure:
57.The person whose shower needs a shower:
58.The person who will for sure be patient zero for a brand-new illness:
59.The person with the most vampire-proof house this side of, again, the mighty Mississipp:
60.And the person whose boots need to RELAX:
