" I yawned in the club last night , and my homegirl pronounce , ' Do n’t piss me off . ' ”
Spooky season is already over, and it’ll be 2024 in a couple of months! 😳 This month went by so quickly, that you probably missed a lot of these hysterical tweets, so enjoy them now!
And play along the account that made you laugh so your Twitter timeline will be even better !
1.
when you romance too much and almost end up in a relationshippic.twitter.com/etv0BLwMIQ
2.
lowkey " seize him " and " unhand me " were huge for the english lyric
3.
I miss him so uncollectible I ’m finna post him so he can call me and tell me to erase it
4.
Me during a plot of ground twist scene after force people to watch a moviepic.twitter.com/cfWxWOHZxu
5.
monster at the Hallowe’en tangle I went to made me get on my knees and separate me " I wager this is n’t your first time on your knees"pic.twitter.com / KBvC382i0I
6.
this is so funnypic.twitter.com/kiXb9REYWy
7.
yearling are so unserious , like why do you have a beer stomach
8.
sick name for a babypic.twitter.com/QIEBSPE0ej
9.
pic.twitter.com/gdEmiFQwdi
10.
pic.twitter.com/ZsbIxlX19s
11.
boyfriends friends are like uncle
12.
who ’s throwing a Hallowe’en political party tmr night and wanna bid me and my homegirls ( we ’re all on parturition control condition )
13.
unknown next to me on the airplane say “ can you go back a page , I missed that last sentence”pic.twitter.com/F7QKPa1EDR
14.
Should I stop sniffies at Disneyland
15.
how it feel to be on public transferral with no airpodspic.twitter.com/OSSAaVOfU5
16.
jacob impose bella after she get back from the honeymoonpic.twitter.com/dOUtEWZOpp
17.
pic.twitter.com/ZqRDTA6MSS
18.
always a fine line between being stone enough to think a flick is really good and being stone enough that you ca n’t stop thinking about how you ’re just look on real hoi polloi pretend to be other people for money
19.
doctor after your card declines at the hospitalpic.twitter.com/oXtO3qNzl5
20.
My OBGYN just call me a free look .. , . ( whore lite ) I got to stop telling this squawk all my patronage stg 😭 🤣 😭 😔 😔 pic.twitter.com / x3S4Bpx0R3
21.
Y’all LMFAOOO9999???!!!!!! 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 pic.twitter.com/1q6jHO6g7 g
22.
Who - who ’s gon na make me sweat ? Hmm ? Who ’s gon na make holler?pic.twitter.com / WXf7Fnp1AY
23.
pic.twitter.com/N38fVH4edl
24.
Me to my bestfriend when I ’m quick to smoke at the functionpic.twitter.com/a6BtVZExwk
25.
the great unwashed assign medicine over their instagram photos nowpic.twitter.com/oti8xFeDSk
26.
pic.twitter.com/K9uGbdxFYR
27.
this is the best picture i thinkpic.twitter.com/K0vf4AJKIM
28.
pic.twitter.com/1xs9VTyUxb
29.
Working In Office is soooo degrading why am I bicycle 3 miles in slacks at 8 am with a shock of squawk sweat in my back pack
30.
pic.twitter.com/dHzfZLGeSA
31.
used to knead in a coffee shop in 39th and Lennox . He would come in every Wednesday on his lunch break and get the special with a hot chocolate . My managing director used to be tripping cause we supposed to use water , I would always use Milk River and cream for him cause I thought he was sweet 👀 https://t.co/eXJkSq2CYe
32.
pic.twitter.com/ypuJ6nR49o
33.
accept a convo w someone and “ Rebecca1182839 ” likes your replypic.twitter.com/zT4bqGlz5 t
34.
My dildo came and my mamma nosey ass opened my packet now I have to be with my auntpic.twitter.com/AWwHSc1WqL
35.
lady in the gym : “ i can take up you right quick!”me : sureher : * stands me in front of her client , spin me around * “ you see how his waist goes in ? he ’s lean”me : pic.twitter.com / r0UHI6voS5
36.
pic.twitter.com/WLpxHNA2hChttps://t.co/7WhTm0TP1D
37.
you ’ve serve your time?https://t.co / Zl0KL3tjvn
38.
This is how I feel sound on a dating apppic.twitter.com/gmbFVsYycO
39.
Everybody is harbinger Vegas residencies it seems like nobody wants to go on tour anymore….get your arsenic up and fall to my citypic.twitter.com/IkC2AVv94V
40.
Apple featured pic always be the most emotional instant with an ex & the funnest daylight with a unspoilt acquaintance you fell out with .
41.
e-mail recruiter “ not interested ? 👀 ” when I do n’t discover back from a task program
42.
- Someone viewed you on Grindr*pic.twitter.com / g1RARxocQX
43.
My infant made me an fanciful pizza pie . I started eat it enunciate “ mmmm it ’s so good . ”She said , “ You did n’t take it out the box”pic.twitter.com/I9pKRJd0mP
44.
call that assault and bobberypic.twitter.com/KORrp5kpZU
45.
despite the horrors there is always take edible on couch
46.
how do I form meaningful friendships as an adult without recruit in grad school or joining a cult
47.
Finished the ( 1 ) rolling wave of toilet paper in my airbnb and require the legion where I could find extra and he said the supermarketpic.twitter.com/RH9a17nj1s
48.
https://t.co/5htm6uYUBspic.twitter.com/FaBiTJa2MU
49.
I yaw in the clubhouse last night and my homegirl sound out “ do n’t piss me off ” 😭
50.
damn . everybody have pregnantpic.twitter.com/V8jNcpNbUN
51.
When I was engender onto my train someone pushed me ( normal ) and I accidentally tread on a ( Russian ? ) ma’am foot . I excuse profusely and sit down . Would you believe that when I was getting off she trample on both of my human foot and blackguard “ like this you did me . ”
52.
Mepic.twitter.com/6hC6UPcXYb
53.
when they go low , i go lowerpic.twitter.com/hW9Z2DsliT
54.
when he eat up in doggy atomic number 7 just has you there like : pic.twitter.com / QRcQGoRphu
55.
me right after everyone just land up singing happy birthdaypic.twitter.com/9P7AwNEg0 thyroxine
56.
When my cd tell a beneficial put-on but I ’m about to go out the housepic.twitter.com/q0997GMfwF
57.
unfold g***r and realise I modify my exhibit name to “ ⬇ ️ ” when I was drnk last weekendpic.twitter.com/KsQgJSkVYN
58.
rive to Mikepic.twitter.com/RklUKqxjrm
59.
“ The Cover Charge Is … Me : pic.twitter.com / w4T5J4CBcm
60.
who ordered the poopoo platterhttps://t.co/8LHSDWSMPy
61.
? judge not.https://t.co/N28PgqxFV8
62.
Girls will suffer unearthly calamity and still run errands the same mean solar day with a smile on their face but if a serviceman ’s parents divorcement when he is 12 he will loose his ire on the world for the rest of his life
63.
no cuz having a British bf is a humbling experience i ’ll be making up drama in my head and start horseshit and my bf will just say “ what uranium on about ” and I just am like yeah ok lemme close up
64.
happy national bf twenty-four hour period to the 6 month situationship that derailed my life history but will live on in my heart forever and a day
65.
those paris bottom glitch showing up to every fashion afterpic.twitter.com/ibhdsfbedF
66.
[ gritting my tooth as a woman shows me a meme on her sound ] Snoopy would n’t do that . That ’s not real .
67.
that uncanny tactual sensation you get every metre you look at an AI generated image is because they ’re not of god btw
