Nobody ’s ever said relationships are leisurely …
Nobody’s ever said relationships are easy, and sometimes, a friend who’s been by our side can see some harsh but insightful truths that we’ve missed about ourselves. So recently,u/teekzerasked, “What is causing your friend to remain single that you don’t have the heart to tell them?” While those who responded may not have the heart to tell their friends, they did have some astute observations — here are some below:
1.“He really is not as nice of a person as he thinks he is.”
— u / Rusti3dp
2.“He makes the same jokes about poop and farts all the time — like, constantly. Yes, some women like potty humor, but they usually also want it to be funny.”
" He is also very negative ; he finds affront or something awry with any state of affairs . "
— u / EatYourCheckers
3.“She is so lovely, kind, generous, and beautiful — but her crippling lack of self-esteem is so huge it’s visible from space, and her anxiety means that she talks at 100 miles per hour in several directions at once when she’s at all nervous.”
" I ’m also 99 % sure that she has undiagnosed ADHD . It ’s like being handed eight glad Labrador puppies to declare in your arms . I so ill want her to be happy and feel satisfy , but even I find it tiring sometimes . "
— uracil / butwhatsmyname
4.“His self-fulfilling prophecy is fucking up his life. He’s not unlovable or ugly or uncared for — but walking through the world expecting rejection at all turns and living in a fog of negativity makes him unattractive. So-and-so isn’t hotter than you; that’s not the reason they’re getting more friends and lovers. It’s because they are more positive and interested than you, and people are attracted to that company.”
— u / cool_username_iguess
5.“I can smell them. Everyone can smell them.”
— uracil / not - read - gud
" My husband has a protagonist like this . He ’s smart , funny , handsome , and has a good job . The guys all intend he ’s still exclusive because he ’s overweight , but I guarantee it ’s not that . It ’s that he stinks ! It ’s a really specific smell that ’s special to him . I can get in the car and say , ' Oh , you drive Jack nursing home , huh ? ' I really wish well one of them would separate him . "
— uracil / lordeaudre
6.“He lies to himself about almost everything and lives in fantasy land. He thinks he’s in the gym five days a week, eats great, climbs mountains, goes camping, and makes loads of money. In reality, he’s at the pub five days a week, over eats like shit, went on one hike in January, can’t hold a job, and lives paycheck to paycheck.”
" If you were to present him , it would n’t even get through to him . "
— u / Fit_Yogurtcloster_291
7.“The people they like aren’t real; they are idealized, cartoonish caricatures. In my opinion, my friend himself has a lot to offer, but he is looking for a person that doesn’t exist. It’s hard to find something that’s not there.”
— u / Sufficient - Spell9935
" I have a booster who start date his roomie after being really into her for a while . After a week or two , he tell her something like , ' Dating you does n’t feel as good as I thought it would . ' He torpedoed a potential relationship because of his ideal fantasy . frankly , I do n’t roll in the hay if he realized he ’d create an unrealistic standard in his head word .
He ’s been single for the last decade , and his mental wellness has only gotten worse in the metre I ’ve known him despite therapy . I recall he ’s probably so detached from ' appropriate dating behavior ' at this point that he could be single for the rest of his life . "
— u / fish993
8.“He keeps hanging on to the past and spending all his time with ex-girlfriends who are unavailable or women who like him but whom he doesn’t romantically like.”
— u / SqueakySnapdragon
9.“Her standards are too excessively high. She brings nothing to a relationship and is a walking contradiction. I think it’s great to have standards — and high standards — but hers are just a checklist of ‘wants.'”
— u / Theunpolitical
10.“It’s not his height; it’s his obsession with it.”
— atomic number 92 / Wizard_of_Claus
11.“I always wondered why she couldn’t get a date because she is gorgeous — then I saw her flirting with someone one night. Once they swapped numbers, she immediately became clingy. She started talking in a baby voice to him and making baby noises. When he made a completely inoffensive comment that she found offensive, she threatened to slap him.”
" It ’s not scandalous at all that he never call . "
— u / robocop_robocop
12.“He was an attractive, charming, and talented man in his 40s who only dated online. He got a good number of matches; they just never stuck around. He’d often complain on Facebook about how women on eHarmony only talked to him for a day or two before suddenly saying they didn’t want to talk anymore or going radio silent. It was to the point that about two-thirds of his Facebook posts were complaints, mostly about dating; the rest were music-related. I’m willing to bet money that many of these women googled him — like you’re supposed to when online dating — found all of his bitching, and ran away.”
" God know I would if I came across that . He ’d post articles about the positives of on-line geological dating and then quetch about how they were awry , the specific women he date , his job , his coworkers , etc . Basically , he used Facebook like Reddit , except Facebook is n’t anon. . "
— u / Short - Condition-8878
13.“The type of guys she claims she likes isn’t what she’s actually attracted to. She keeps saying she loves shy, introverted, and sensitive guys, but when she dates one, he’s suddenly not outgoing enough, doesn’t speak his mind enough, or is too shy. I think she has ‘I can fix him’ syndrome.”
" She ’s attracted to the idea of a typical shy cat but retrieve that once they ’re in a relationship , he ’ll suddenly be more open and turn into the guy wire she actually wants . That ’s not how it works ! "
— u / Disig
14.“Desperation. From laughing way too hard at mediocre jokes to bringing up marriage on the first date, she reeks of it. The sad thing is that if she were just her regular, funny, smart, and relaxed self, then men would fall over themselves trying to get her number.”
" We have all tried blab to her about it to no avail . "
— uracil / Julia_Sugarbaker123
15.“He talkswaytoo much. Even when texting, my friend sends paragraphs to women he’s just met.”
— u / TaiyedTree21
16.“She has a long, long way to go in therapy before she’ll be able to maintain a healthy, long-term relationship.”
" If I did mention it , I ’d be ' assault ' and ' gaslighting ' her , so I ’ll get her bring on her more crusade genial health issue . "
— uracil / mossadspydolphin
17.“Horrid halitosis — it actually has been brought up before, but he never does anything about it. I’m fairly certain that he has gingivitis; his gums are blood-red and bleed easily.”
" When I tell apart him he probably has gum disease , he insisted someone in his family who ’s a tooth doctor severalise him he did n’t have it . "
— uranium / NightDreamer73
18.“He is needy and clingy. He also moves around a lot and has been in college for the last 15 years.”
" There is a lot go on . "
— u / Mysterydumper
19.“I have a friend who constantly attaches herself to the worst men possible, gets treated like trash, and then reaches out to us for rescue. We tell her every time that the men she is seeing are horrible. Nevertheless, nice guys are always labeled boring, or she finds an excuse not to be interested. ‘He has dinner with his mother two to three times a week; I’m not dating a momma’s boy.’ But the guy who ditched her at a concert twice? He’s alright.”
" At this breaker point , I ’m convinced she just likes being rescued . "
— u / Educational_Dust_932
20.“She’s a beautiful girl — like, seriously, one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen in real life — but she needsconstantvalidation. No man on the planet can give her the validation she requires.”
— u / Pinkgirl0825
21.“His standards are unrealistic. He’s a four or five on a good day but is only interested in women if they’re an eight or higher. He’s also very overweight but constantly points out women’s weight on dating apps and how it’s a deal-breaker if they look to be above a US size 5.”
" I did n’t realize this was to such an extreme point until the rest of his friends ' wives and I sat down and went through the dating profile of women who liked his profile . He just unendingly criticized their appearance for such terrestrial reason .
Per his request , we were trying to give him advice on how to talk to women . However , it became blatantly obvious to us why he was struggling . It all changed my opinion of him . "
— u / ErisEternalE
22.“It’s the selfish arrogance; ‘I want what I want,’ with the subtext that he never cared about what his girlfriend wanted. He wanted to spend all his money on sci-fi ‘collectibles,’ but engagement rings, investing, and buying a house were a waste of money. After almost 10 years together, she walked. He was 32 and thought he could find someone else. Now, he’s 49 and hasn’t had a girlfriend since. Of course, he says no one wants him because he’s fat and bald. While those don’t help, they’re not the major turnoff.”
" He was young and good - expect when he and his x - girlfriend incur together , but he put on weight and lost his hair’s-breadth during their relationship . While together , he only went to office he wanted to and never let in her admirer or menage . No compromises were possible , either . He say no , and no discussions were entertained . His opinion on every subject was correct , and he was not concerned in your judgment or listen to relevant , instructive fact that he did n’t be intimate .
Since she left him , he still has n’t bought a house — and houses cost twice what they did when they were go steady . However , his snag has treble , and he ’s buy a transcript of all his favorite motion picture in every data format ( VHS , DVD , and Blu - ray ) . He even has a whole chamber dedicated to storing them — if you could get in there , his house is a hoarder ’s promised land . "
— u / vicki153
23.“She’s really overdue for growing up and learning to self-reflect. She needs to allow herself to change. She’s pretty, funny, and a great time to go out with — there’s never a dull moment with her — but she’s also not changed since we were teens. She’s a mess. She doesn’t clean or cook, can’t hold down a job, lives paycheck to paycheck, and prioritizes a good time over everything else. Overall, she’s extremely unstable. There’s also no accountability for how her actions impact her own life, let alone the lives of others. Somehow, she has high expectations of her potential partners, though she doesn’t bring much to the table or hold herself to the same standards.”
" Sometimes , you require to slow down down and get a clutches on your mental health and sprightliness before actively seek out relationships . I ’ve watched her wreck so many people who have good intentions , and she does n’t even recognize how she hurt them . "
— u / foxspells
24.“He’s overly loud and party-boyish at age 45.”
— u / gULTwPncqlyHIH
25.“He’s just too ‘Catholic.’ He wants this perfect trophy girlfriend who has to be a virgin. The girls that he meets either 1) are not interested in him, 2) have had boyfriends, 3) don’t like his lifestyle, and/or 4) disagree with his relationship ideologies, like how he ‘wants all the kids that God provides.’ He also drinks too much alcohol, and it’s always his way or no way.”
" Of course , it ’s o.k. that he ’s not a Virgo the Virgin and has had a lady friend . When I postulate him about that , he tell me it was dissimilar because he thought he would conjoin her … "
— u / TackleResponsible298
26.“His lack of interests. He’s just a boring person. He has some hobbies that he picked up as a kid, but he only sticks with them because he’s regularly done them. For example, he still plays tennis with his dad once a week. Otherwise, there is no development; you cannot get him to do anything he’s not used to. He has no stories to tell and no life. There is no way to connect to him. He’s just a kid getting older.”
" I ’m losing whatever connection we have left because we ca n’t speak about young things . We ’ve talked about the onetime stuff for over 20 year now . "
— u / Resident - Worry-2403
27.“They don’t know how to commit to anything (including a job) and act like things will happen on their own. It almost seems like their ideology is, ‘It will happen when it happens,’ so they don’t try to make things happen at all. They’ll meet a person, and then that’s it — meet cute dead in the water.”
— u / thunderkitty _
28.“Her life revolves around helping her parents, whom she still lives with and do not need her help. Her hobbies include that and obsessing over her very ordinary cats. She mostly hangs out with her mother’s friends.”
" If I were a cat , I ’d be scared to become part of her life . "
— u / Opinecone
29.“He can’t seem to let go of the idea that women in their 20s don’t want to date men in their 40s. Some do, and that’s cool. However, his dating pool is tiny, and he is always confused and angry. He doesn’t understand that he’s not a silver fox; he needs to give women closer to his age a chance.”
— u / undangerous-367
30.“Every new boyfriend is her baby’s new ‘daddy’ — at least for a few months. Then, she cheats on them with older men at her plant job, practically brags about it to my sister, and wonders why nobody has anything to do with her daughter.”
" It pisses me off because her girl is so precious . Unfortunately , she ’s deranged when it comes to her beloved lifespan . It also does n’t help that the men she typically fuck are married with adolescent children and that their wives usually try out to beat her ass later on . I have no Leslie Townes Hope for her . "
— u / Duhcisive
31.“He can’t seem to understand that when he approaches girls, they don’t want to hear about hunting, knives, and how he is very knowledgeable about killing things.”
— u / AerianeJean
32.“I’ve known many guys who don’t talk to women like they’re human beings. It’s bizarre. We’ll be having a normal conversation when a woman approaches. Suddenly, these guys are sucking in their guts, puffing out their chests, and saying the whackest, weirdest, and fakest shit. It’s like they think a woman is a thing to trick into some kind of attraction.”
" It implies that they mean of women as stupid or oblivious people who must be control into a family relationship . Obviously , women foot up on this contiguous red flag and bail almost straight off . "
— u / PalpyTime
33.“He’s a nice guy, but he’s also really exhausting. Everything is totally over the top with him! When he meets someone, he’s totally in love. After a few dates, he’s not anymore.”
" I ’ve tell him to go for cleaning woman who do n’t make him feel ' crazy in erotic love ' but more ' shivering in love . ‘Also , he can not close up … ever ! "
— u / DieIsaac
34.“Velcro. Velcro shoes, velcro wallet… They are hook-and-loop-fastener-mad, and the noise seems to drive partners away.”
— uranium / SportSock
35.“She has a short temper. Instead of communicating, she is passive-aggressive whenever someone disagrees with her. It could be the most minor issue, but she needs to make sure her voice is the most dominant in the conversation. I think, deep down, she’s very self-centered and influenced by the TikTok and Instagram videos she watches about how a man should know how to love and care for a woman naturally. Her standards are unrealistic, and it’s hard to listen to her perspective of what a man and relationship should be like nowadays.”
" As her protagonist , I prove to keep my opinions neutral and have walked on eggshells with her for tight to a decade . She was never knotty toward me until recently , when I saw that side of her which I think cause her recent breakup and why she has issue with long - terminal figure human relationship . "
— u / emeraldpotion
36.“Trust issues from past relationship trauma.”
— atomic number 92 / ResponsibilitySad288
37.“He’s not really empathetic and is a bit self-centered (though not in a narcissistic way). About 90% of the time, he talks about himself.”
" He ’s also not one to alter his views . He is always correct , and he ’s not much into compromise . "
38.“Self-sabotage. He always has to say something, especially when he knows he’ll get a reaction.”
— uracil / SmashBoiSupreme
