" It was the best decision I ever made to leave someone who had so little regard for two unacquainted , unfermented small boys . "
A little bit ago, IaskedtheBuzzFeed Communityto tell me their experiences with realizing they had chosen the wrong person to raise a family with. So many people were willing to share their stories, I knew I needed to continue to share their experiences. You can check out theoriginal stories here.
Here’s some additional experiences people were willing to share about realizing they had chosen the wrong person to have children with:
1.“The first hint was when I came home and he and a woman whose car he was fixing were coming from upstairs. The second hint was when I had a gallbladder attack and he left me in the emergency room for three hours alone and picked a fight the next day before I was about to go into emergency surgery.”
2.“He complained about financially supporting me even though we were married, living apart, both active duty in the military, and he made more money than me. He didn’t understand why he had to help buy baby items. He came to visit once and went through my pantry and said, if I only bought generic food, then he wouldn’t have to help.”
— Anonymous
3.“I was about 37 weeks pregnant and working four to five 12-hour shifts per week as a registered nurse. He was unemployed. I came home from work and told him I would be induced in two days due to some pregnancy complications. He looked at me and said, ‘Can they change it to Friday? I have tickets to see the new Marvel superhero movie on Thursday.’ Unfortunately, things got worse from there. My kids and I are doing fine now. But that was definitely the moment.”
4.“The moment that made me realize I had chosen the wrong person to raise a family with was when I found out my husband was gay. He later confessed that he thought having a child would make him straight.”
5.“When our child was younger, she wanted to be a doctor. I ordered her a junior medical book, and when it arrived, she read the book all day. She proudly shared all she learned with me and could not wait to share it all with her father. When he got home, she eagerly showed the book and began sharing what she read. Before she could say much, he stopped her and declared that he already knows everything medical and she’s wasting her time. She was seven!”
6.“We had just had our second child and were preparing to move to a different state. It was a lot going on all at once. My husband at the time attended a going-away party with his work friends, which I could not attend because I had just had a child. When I took his clothes out of the hamper the following day, they reeked of perfume. I stupidly thought he had just hugged a lot of nice-smelling people at his party. Fast forward a month, and we’re living in a new state, in a hotel, while our house is being completed.”
" We had a three - yr - old and a three - calendar month - old , and it was not easy to be stick in a hotel room , so I took the kids to visit my parent , and that way , my married man could sharpen on his new job . While the kids and I were go , a fair sex he had function with at his late occupation come to visit him . She flew to visit him from the province we had just left . I receive a phone call from my married man secernate me I should in all probability not return and just go forward to live with my parents . He had started an affair , probably before we moved , and was plan to be with the new woman . All my piece of furniture and belongings were in storage at the Modern localisation . I had just given parturition to our second child , so I require to save my marriage . I went back , I tried severely , he continued his affair , and I in the end take the kids and embark on over . It was the best decision I ever made to allow someone who had so little regard for two innocent , sweet-flavored little boys . "
7.“When I was in labor with our youngest, he drove 15 miles per hour under the speed limit to the hospital, all the while berating me for wanting to have a normal delivery instead of having another c-section. When we got to the hospital, he spent the entire 12 hours sitting in the corner with his hood up and arms crossed, sulking. No support, no encouragement. I felt so alone.”
8.“The night I was going to be induced to deliver my first child, I found my husband curled up in the bottom of the shower, bawling his eyes out because I told him to tell his parents not to bother coming to the hospital AT MIDNIGHT. I felt like I was an awful person and that I made him feel that way, but I was wrong. He was afraid to say no to his parents because he was used to doing whatever they wanted him to do.”
" He also was n’t used to being with someone who was n’t okay with that kind of passive behaviour . I wish I had known his parents still held that much office over him , specifically his mother . He tries to employ her shaming tactic on me , but they do n’t work on me . She gave up trying to ascertain me a long time ago because I did n’t engage with her . You ca n’t control someone who sees your game and wo n’t enter . He also wo n’t enforce rule , limit , or bedtimes . He is discrepant with enforcing hygiene and prep . He does n’t back me up when I essay to sort out , and when he does ' try ' to discipline , he does it when he ’s angry . He becomes very disdainful and verbally opprobrious , probably because that ’s what he grew up with . So many regrets ! "
9.“I was in early labor in the hospital with baby number two and asked my partner to walk the hallways with me so I didn’t fall or anything. He got so mad that I interrupted the video he was watching and refused to walk with me. He killed the vibes for the whole labor and delivery. Then I almost hemmoraged out and had to be rushed to the OR, and he didn’t seem to care that I almost died. Unbelievable. It took me four more years before I kicked his worthless ass to the curb. The kids and I are so much happier without him!”
10.“A few weeks after my daughter was born, he left his backpack at home, and I had a gut feeling something was up. Sure enough, there was a burner phone in the pocket. He had an entirely different persona that he’d built in order to cheat. The worst was the text to his coworker the morning our daughter was born about how he went home to take a shower and masturbated thinking about her while I was in the hospital, almost dead on magnesium for my eclampsia.”
— monkeybuttmom
11.“I realized the moment I was in a Lamaze class and I was kicked out for not having a partner. I needed a partner to sit from behind, hold the pillow, and help with my breathing techniques. I begged and pleaded with my partner for months to go. He would instead choose to work on cars, hang out with friends, and watch TV instead of going to this birthing class with me. I was so embarrassed; I couldn’t partake in the class if he wasn’t there.”
12.“I worked at a hospital as a nursing assistant. I did 12-hour shifts three days a week. He was constantly pushing me to work extra days. My daughter was 14 months old at the time. I came home from work; it was 7:45 p.m., and they were both asleep. Her diaper was soaking wet, and she was starving when she woke up because I needed to change her diaper. He told me she hadn’t wanted to eat all day.”
" This was the first time she had ask to wipe out . He then told me he had had her all day and that it was my round to take care of her . He then capture out of bed , fixed himself something to eat , and catch on the estimator to chat with his ally . He was n’t working , did n’t do housekeeping , and quell up all night . I moved out two months later , and he was upset because I ruin his spirit . He does n’t have a human relationship with his daughter . That was his choice , not mine . I know I made the right selection , seeing as how the only metre he babble to his girl is if she call him . "
13.“I realized that I had chosen the wrong person to raise my family with after being a single mom up until my children were teenagers, and I married someone that I thought would be caring, a positive role model, and an engaged stepparent. However, he turned out to be envious and jealous of the relationship my children and I had established. Also, he was mentally, emotionally, and physically detached! It was total hell and caused emotional scarring.”
14.“As I lay in a hospital bed, waiting for my husband to get there on baby number three, I realized I had done all three pregnancies alone. I was exhausted from having a child who needed weekly doctor visits and treatments (cancer). I was raising them alone. I was going through the motions alone. I was doing everything alone.”
" He would exit for 9–12 weeks at a clock time and come back for one to two weeks . He was take more money aside , so he claimed , but I realized not only was I raising three babies , but I was also give for everything ( yep , I was still act upon full - time with three tike ; I balanced everything alone , and literally the twenty-four hour period before I had our last child , I was still working ) . So where was this money that he was supposedly making for ' us ? ' That ’s when I realise he would drop more money going out to bars , berth to eat , buying spirits , and living a single life while I was paying for and put forward our kids . After the third baby , we lived like roommates for another five years before we separated . What a waste of 20 years . "
15.“I had preterm labor starting at four months. Bed rest was required but not possible due to my ex’s work schedule and having two small children at home. I went into labor at seven months and required an emergency c-section. I called my then-husband, who was working in another state. He asked if I could ‘keep the baby in’ because he couldn’t leave work. Yeah, the red signs were already there, but when my L&D nurse (who had heard the conversation) had to hang up the phone for me because I was sobbing, that was the nail in the coffin.”
16.“I (34F) realized I was in trouble when I was about 6 months pregnant, and one day my partner (35M) looked at me with such anger in his eyes and said he could not raise a baby because he wasn’t ready and that I had chosen the wrong time to get pregnant. I wouldn’t have thought it was more than cold feet if it wasn’t for the look that came with it. It shook me to my core. It was as if he was telling me that I was ruining his life. I actually felt unsafe for a split second.”
" But at that point in time , I felt like I was in too cryptic and just tried to ignore my intestine feeling that was telling me I was in trouble . The next three months of my maternity were a mix ofemotions , but still with a wad of wrath . Once the babe came and we both realized it was more employment than we reckon , I was constantly blame because ' I want it . ' Fast forward : the babe is now 14 months old , and although he has come around to loving the babe very much , he still pick me for our relationship changing and tells me that my tending is not on him any longer ( no dump ) . Not to name , he helps very little , and it ’s mostly my mamma and I wish for the babe . Yeah , we ’re still together , but I do n’t think I can take it much longer . I think I need to swear my bowel . "
And finally, this daughter decided to share her mom’s story on her behalf:
17.“I’m the daughter of a single mother. My parents split when I was one, but my mom (who passed away in 2020) always said she knew things were over when she told my dad she was pregnant, and he didn’t even look up; he just told her, ‘I knew it would happen sooner or later.'”
mention : Submissions have been edit for length and/or clarity
If you or someone you roll in the hay is in immediate danger as a result of domesticated violence , call 911 . For anon. , confidential assistant , you may call the 24/7National Domestic Violence Hotlineat 1 - 800 - 799 - 7233 ( SAFE ) or chat with an advocate via the internet site .
If you are interested that a child is experience or may be in danger of abuse , you may call or text theNational Child revilement Hotlineat 1 - 800 - 422 - 44531 - 800 - 422 - 2253 ( 4.A.CHILD ) ; service can be provided in over 140 languages .
