" I guess that for couples that pass into it unstable , or where it just was unclear — mayhap to them — whether they had the makings of a human relationship that was gon na go the distance , the pandemic was assay . "
Sophie Turnerand Joe Jonas!Jodie Turner-Smithand Joshua Jackson!Joe AlwynandTaylor Swift! Hell, evenHugh Jackmanand Deborra-Lee Furness! If you even vaguely keep up with celebrity news, you’ve likely noticed that alotof famous couples haveparted waysin 2023.
So I sat down with Matt Lundquist, the founder and clinical director ofTribeca Therapyand a licensed clinical social worker. Of course, neither of us can speculate as to the private details of any of these couples, but I wanted to see whether the recent spate of celeb splits is just an anomaly — or whether there might be something in their experiences that rings true to us nonfamous people.
The first thing we discussed was the lasting impact that the pandemic could be having on couples. “Three months into lockdown, we only got inquiries from couples. Couples who locked down together, spending time together, were calling us in crisis,” Matt noted, saying that in his team’s experience, it did translate to a “dramatic” uptick in divorces.
Now, there’s still not accurate information for US divorces in 2022 and 2023, but divorce rates have generally beentrending down— with a big dip, perhaps unsurprisingly, in 2020. Subsequently, according to theCDC, the divorce rate in 2021 was slightly higher than in 2020.
While COVID-19 is still very much around, when we compare the situation now with 2020, it’s certainly the closest we’ve been to a return to “normal.” Matt said, “I would probably say, as others easily could, is that we turned a corner in September of starting to feel like the pandemic is over and we’re in the new moment. And that could be impacting how people are thinking about their relationships, beginning to want more in their lives.”
On the question of whether the pandemic would have a particular impact on fledgling relationships, Matt said the “isolation” of the pandemic meant that it could be a “relationship accelerator.” He explained, “[The pandemic] could create a condition where we’re asked to rely on a significant other fora lot.I think that for couples that went into it unstable, or where it just was unclear — maybe to them— whether they had the makings of a relationship that was gonna go the distance, the pandemic was trying.”
“For a lot of people, I think there was a reluctance to make moves in their lives, which possibly we’re seeing,” he said before noting that he hadn’t noticed an uptick in divorces in his own practice. That being said, broadly speaking, the pandemic still had an “enormous impact” that led many folks to experience a “realignment of values” — with Matt pointing to some individuals, for example, “prioritizing family time” more than work. He said, “I think people are thinking more about quality of life and kind of the values that they have in their relationships.”
Now, all this discussion of the pandemic might lead to the question as to why we’re seeing a lot of celebrity divorcesnowrather than, say, 2020 or 2021. One reason Matt suggested was that some of these relationships may not have been “particularly” good years ago, but the pandemic led to a “delay” in any kind of split.
“I think [there are] as many couples that decided to get divorced on the early to mid-side of the pandemic as couples that acknowledged strain but decided not to get divorced because of the inconvenience of that, financial hardship, extra burdens of childbearing. How that translates to famous folks, who presumably have a lot more financial resources, is hard to know,” Matt added, saying that he anecdotally knows of many couples affected by the pandemic who still live together without being in “an active love relationship.”
The final topic we discussed was whether the short time between when these couples met and when they got engaged and then married might have anything to do with the splits. Take, for example, Jodie Turner-Smith and Joshua Jackson, who tied the knotarounda year after meeting. “My guess is that a shorter engagement is probably correlated with a briefer marriage,” Matt hypothesized before noting that he actually met his wife of 10 years three and a half months before they tied the knot.
Again, there isn’tsuper-recent data, but according to one 2018New York magazinestory, available studies suggest that dating for longer does lead to a lower divorce rate (but there’s a time limit — some couples who wait too long may be “hesitating for good reason,” as associate professor Arielle Kuperberg put it to the publication). The logic here is that more time together, of course, means that couples can get to know each other and figure out any deal breakersbeforemarriage. Plus, there’s also the theory that couples who get married incredibly quickly might also be impulsive — a trait that may also lead to a quicker divorce.
In short, perhaps we’ll never know what is behind the great celebrity splitfest of 2023 — but at least we (hopefully) learned something along the way.
Note : Quotes have been edited for distance and/or clarity .
“I think that for couples that went into it unstable, or where it just was unclear — maybe to them — whether they had the makings of a relationship that was gonna go the distance, the pandemic was trying."
