" I do n’t bonk why I have a headache . all I do is look at screens much of the day then go out in the sun for hour then grind my teeth all dark " — @danielleweisber
As a great 20th-century philosopher once observed, “We are living in a society.”
In that vein, here are 21 hilarious thoughts from the 21st century’s best minds, orating in the Greek agora of our time: Twitter.
1.In today’s economy, honesty is the most valuable currency.
I respect the woman at the front desk of this hotel who , when I asked if I could switch rooms because mine is so tacky at night , state “ you will observe none of them are very good ”
2.This might be worse than men on dating apps who list their job as “entrepreneur.”
nyc is just a resort area for adults , i asked a full-grown arse man what his job is he sound out he “ throws house party ” that ’s not a job that ’s not what that is . what is incorrect with u
3.Seriously, someone needs to fix the job market before it’s too late!
Everyone I know who can explain what they do for a aliveness is getting laid off and everyone whose title is " Object Permanence Consultant " has been on a stumble to Italy for 22 month
4.It’s hard to resist peer pressure at any age.
the coolheaded side of the pillow just offer me drugs
5.Speaking of drugs, technology is the most addictive drug of the 21st century.
i ’m not addicted to my phone i ’m addicted to my friend . who oftentimes are inside of my phone
6.But will we change our behavior? Absolutely not.
I do n’t know why I have a headache ? ? ? all I do is look at screen much of the day then go out in the Dominicus for hours then grind my teeth all night
7.Thankfully, sometimes social media can be kind of funny.
post “ wow crack problematic ” under everybody ’s Halloween costume and then responding “ I will not do the Labor Department of educating you ” when they ask for an explanation .
8.In 1492, Columbus may have sailed the ocean blue — but in 2023, we don’t reward mediocrity*.
" Is the depository library undefendable today?““Yes . ““You do n’t close up for Columbus Day?““We do not . ““I recall it would be appropriate to do something to honor Christopher Columbus . ““You could foretell that you ’re going to come to the depository library but then incidentally go somewhere else instead . "
9.Speaking of holidays we may or may not celebrate…
when is national bit of shit day i wanna place someone
10.In such divided times, it’s always smart to consider things from another perspective.
have you ever considered that coriander might think YOU try like soap 😤
11.Politicians who play games* should be wary of the UNO reverse card**.
Gavin Newsom I will negative you , you rat bitch
- lose their next election
12.An educated electorate is an empowered electorate!
RIP Speaker McCarthy , you were good than the only other McCarthy i am aware of in U.S. political relation
13.In 2023, female politicians can be criminals, too!
guess being voted out of spot by someone who was just kick out of mallet juice the musical for vaping and jack off her engagement
14.Has feminism gone too far?
Yall love saying this propagation be using humankind for money . I was getting ice pick with my guy cable acquaintance , I go to pay , he stops me and pay . While he ’s paying the old peeress next to me says , “ whenever you ’re with a man , remember you left your notecase at base . ” Like hunky-dory granny .
15.Men are from Mars, and they speak an entirely different language.
u know you mentally prevail a white dude if u can get him to say “ comely enough ”
16.Seriously, white men are not from this planet.
never sending a white boy a picture of my ass ever againpic.twitter.com/n0tpsSoRv7
17.Also from another planet? Reality TV stars.
One of the driving dramatic plot points of Love Is Blind this season is that two of the people casually dated outside of the pod and every single person require has call about it . These masses should not be rent back into the existent world .
18.But reality TV is a great distraction from the real world, where we sometimes have to face sad truths…
i know it ’s sexist but when i see a skeleton i immediately think human . I ’m aware cleaning lady can die , it just hurts to cerebrate that it ’s dependable .
19….and we’re forced to ask the tough questions.
‘ too much garlic ’ what ’s next ? too much desire ? too much sexual love ?
20.But despite all its failures, modern society is a safe haven for annoying people — of which there are many.
i ’m so plaguey i believably would have been lapidate to death in the townspeople foursquare
Now go forth and be annoying, as is your right!!!
And be sure to follow these hilarious philosopher on Twitter ! They ’re the best minds order has .
