" Girls will suffer unearthly tragedies and still prevail errands the same daytime with a smile on their face but if a adult male ’s parent divorce when he is 12 he will unleash his anger on the world for the residual of his life " — @soupinthering
This has been a tough week for everyone, so here are 27 funny tweets by women to make your life a little brighter!
As a millennian , I have about 1 - 2 more “ unprecedented times ” in me before I move into a pineapple under the sea
Make sure you follow all these hilarious ladies on Twitter!
1.
I do n’t know why I have a headache ? ? ? all I do is look at screens much of the day then go out in the sun for minute then labour my teeth all dark
2.
I ( 43F ) just had my Word ( 17 M ) tell me , " You ’ll never appreciate Nirvana like I do , " when a video of " Smells Like Teen Spirit " come on You Tube . This is in zero parenting manuals .
3.
bozo I know my husband , but I asked him to find me a burnt umber covered crisp rice kickshaw - like a crush bar - and the humankind return with gently salted rice cakes and suggested I melt chocolate french-fried potatoes on them
4.
everyone is say “ i would n’t rival this topic with a ten invertebrate foot pole ” and nobody is stopping to think about me , the guy who make his living selling ten foot poles . my kid are starving because you ca n’t come up with a take .
5.
Me , lying in layer , staring at the basket of unfold laundry that I washed on MONDAYpic.twitter.com/zWXdpbpSYi
6.
Applying for state health insurance is so funny . I had to upload my banking company data and they send off me a notice asking me if there was actually only $ 85 in my savings business relationship
7.
3yo : Why do we have a room just for the toilet and the bath?Me : So people can have privateness when they ’re going to the toilet or taking a shower.3yo : Why would someone want that?I consider I ’m beginning to realise the root of much of our gulf .
8.
I have a student w a discover aid & I wear this thing around my cervix so that he can hear me sing in his pinna . Y’all why I forgot to dull it & I take the air outside the class to swear my man out … . I come back in & the student tell “ Ms. Figueroa are you hunky-dory ? ” 😭
9.
Amtrak guy scanned my ticket and I said “ how are you ” and his response was “ only 23 years until retreat ”
10.
( daughter who just turn 24 voice ) i just mean your early 20s are for making mistake & being a act dotty . and your mid-20s are where you start getting it all together 😊
11.
What is this , a neoliberalism simulator?pic.twitter.com / WIGmp1WgEs
12.
suppose about how I got my own blood guide in case I needed it for a blood transfusion in feeler of major surgery , and they did n’t apply it so I asked for it back , and the hospital break before being like , “ We do n’t do line doping here . ”
13.
i was watching devil inc with my niece and I was like “ just wait for the bloopers they ’re so funny ” and then we watched to the closing of the credits and … there were no bloopers . disney+ … you have made a fool of me for the last prison term
14.
like a month ago i referred to one of the 2yo ’s books as “ the one where elsa and anna meet a infant moose ” and she died laughing and was like no it ’s a babe reindeer and now literally every day she run low “ remember you made a error and say babe moose ” like can i hold up
15.
the frasier reboot is avengers : end game for epicene women who mostly date man who hate them 👼
16.
not being a monster i befuddle said skid back , to an equally quiet but far less devastated : oh ! my skid !
17.
I consume a sharp chip and you ’re laughing . I eat up a too tart chip and injure the roof of my mouth and you ’re laugh
18.
every heartbreakingly beautiful girl who merit the world is dating a guy who looks like thispic.twitter.com/NrL3LhFsaw
19.
it ’s not that i do n’t want to go to your issue , it ’s just that i reaaaallly do n’t want to go to your consequence
20.
My friend and I hash out what seafood we like : Me : I do n’t like lobster or crabMy 3yo , trying to be part of the conversation but has never had shellfish in his life : I do n’t wish … starfish .
21.
some bars should be 25 + where the euphony is quieter so I can actually find out my friend
22.
Every union has one person who is good at invest wash away and one person who place my sinister leotards in a kitchen draftsman with the peach towels .
23.
flop now my furious bedroom fantasy is to have a fitted sheet that stays taut
24.
Last hebdomad a frequenter come into the library and checked out an air frier . She asked if we had somewhere to utilise it and we articulate no . So she took it into the privy and COOKED A Salmon River in it
25.
Duolingo keeps attempt to teach me how to say “ I ’m from Philadelphia ” in Italian
26.
Men ’s love language is telling you fact you already roll in the hay
27.
lady friend will suffer unearthly tragedies and still run errands the same day with a smile on their human face but if a man ’s parents divorcement when he is 12 he will let loose his wrath on the world for the eternal rest of his living
Don’t miss the funniest tweets by women last week:
21 Of The Absolute Funniest Tweets By Women This Week
…or the funniest tweets by women in September!
I Can not Overstate How Wildly Hilarious These 52 tweet By Women Are
