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Recently, Reddit useru/philosophonomosasked the men of the community: “What’s a secret allmen keepthat women don’t know?”
They got super candid about secrets they’ve kept from women, ranging from super valid to super harsh. After combing through their stories, I found their experiences are truly eye-opening.
So, here are some deep, dark secrets men have kept from women for a longggg, long time:
1.“We fucking love compliments. Try it and see how far it gets you because while we may call you lovely things, we rarely get so much in return. Your words mean more than you’ll ever know.”
— u / ThreeRedStars
2.“We don’t remember exactly what happened on the second date, third date, etc. years later. We were just trying to keep from screwing it up each time. Do I remember walking on Mars for our third date? Of course, honey — how could I forget? It happened exactly how you just described it to me.”
— u / dixiedemocrat
3.“Sex is only 10% of the relationship until you’re not having it anymore — then it’s 90% of the relationship.”
— atomic number 92 / Ltimbo
4.“We have a ‘nothing box.’ The ‘nothing box’ is impenetrable, and no other thoughts can get in there. We like the ‘nothing box’ and will frequently jump into the ‘nothing box’ at random. So when you see your man and he has a completely blank expression, we’re in the ‘nothing box.’ So when you ask, ‘What are you thinking?’ and we say, ‘Nothing,’ it’s a genuine response. It’s possible for us to have no thoughts…at all, whenever we want…it’s GREAT!”
— u / josuha_keegan
5.“I wish I got more physical contact and affection from everyone in my life — no one really touches us. Guy friends can’t because it’s ‘considered gay.’ And girl friends can’t because its ‘a come on’ — it sucks. I once had a guy friend who would innocently just put his arm around me when we were standing around chatting. I miss that. Oftentimes, the women we date are the only people we’re ‘allowed’ to touch.”
— u / brianofblades
6.“Our [penis] length doesn’t just vary on temperatures or one-size while we’re resting. We can wake up with a 1,000-year-old redwood, and by noon, for some chaotic reason, it has turtled and decided to be a button for a couple of hours.”
— u / DevilinDeTales
7.“If we don’t want to have sex, it’s not because of you. Sometimes, we know it’ll be quick, or we want to be a bit selfish, and don’t want to treat you as a cum urinal (even if you’re into that, we have feelings, too).”
— u / ThatWontFit
8.“I have no interest in being friends with your friend’s boyfriend or husband. In fact, I have no interest in even hanging out with your own friends. I have enough friends, and I don’t have the willpower to pretend like I give a single fuck about what Brad does for a living.”
— u / Terrible_Security313
9.“I think an uncomfortable secret I feel as a father is when I take my daughter to something that ‘moms usually do.’ I see the weird looks moms give me when I go to gymnastics and dance classes. I see how I’m treated differently from the other moms. I see how you ask the new mom her name, but never ask me my name (even after taking my daughter for weeks).”
— atomic number 92 / CuckooKaka
10.“This is the most cliché answer, but it’s too true: It doesn’t matter how much effort women put into makeup and clothes. If a man finds a woman attractive, he will very likely find her as attractive without any of that (or he might even find her more attractive with casual clothes/PJs on a regular day).”
— uracil / pathofblades
11.“We know you share really explicit, private details about our relationship with all your friends. It’s why we rarely tell you anything.”
— u / ANerdCalledMike
12.“I think I speak for most men when I say that every once in a while, it’s nice to be the little spoon.”
— lwhittt
13.“We have performance anxiety — anxiety to provide for our family, work anxiety, and fatherhood anxiety. We can’t always be on point. Give us a break sometimes in the same manner everyone else expects some compassion!”
— atomic number 92 / haggehe
14.“I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard, ‘Why don’t you open up more?’ But when I do, it’s usually followed by, ‘What the fuck is wrong with you?’ So, lesson learned: Things are fine, and I’m okay. End of conversation.”
— u / TheMarsTraveler
15.“We actually do consider you when making decisions, but it often goes unrecognized. We take off the toast bread ends so you don’t have to, we park the car so that the puddle is on our side and not yours. We bring our sweaters or flannels with us because we know you’ll get cold (not because we need them). We go unappreciated quite often, but just keep it bottled in so that we remain strong for you.”
— u / Aremkay89
16.“Wereallydon’t want to hear the unnecessary details — women make it hard to stay focused on their message. And please use names instead of pronouns when there are multiple people of the same gender in your story.”
— uracil / tc6x6
17.And finally: “A lot of us have been environmentally conditioned to bottle up our wants and needs. We don’t talk about them openly to anybody, aside from our closer male friends on occasion. We might be ever so slightly terrible about expressing them in a way that sounds polite to you because we don’t have practice in doing so. Unless what was said when we’re expressing our wants, needs, and feelings is outright malicious, it’s not meant to be malicious.”
— u / Nenacu
take down : Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity .
