" I thought a troika would spice up things up . But instead of a savage nighttime to think back , it turned into a patch pull I did n’t see coming . My wife ended up leaving me for the other cleaning woman . "
Reddit useru/ahollybloomsasked the community: “What’s a sexual act that looks fun but is actuallydisappointing?”
Welp, folks didn’t holdanythingback, and got down and dirty about the kinks that turn them the heck OFF. They deem them as “awful” and supremely “overrated” (which, to each their own!).
So here are some sex acts people thought would be hella fun, but were actually hella “disappointing”:
Note : Everyone ’s sexual experience is dissimilar . Not all opinions below reflect a blanket perspective of sexual activity .
1.“Having cum in your mouth. It looks hot as hell, but it really doesn’t taste good. Like, seriously: With the sticky, slimy texture and vaguely salty but also just generally unpleasant taste, it’s not really enjoyable. Plus, since it’s so sticky, the taste is hard to get out. There are different foods you can eat that apparently can make it taste different, but I’ve never really had the chance to actually test that theory. Either way, not nearly as fun or sexy as it looks (well, maybe for whoever is doing the coming, but for whoever has to actually taste it, it’s not that fun).”
— u / ButWhatIfItQueffed
2.“Role-playing and certain types of bondage. I’m more into the S and M parts of BDSM. Bondage is high-key kinda boring, especially when there is no actual sexual contact happening. And role-playing usually feels forced without copious amounts of prep. Plus, I can never take it seriously, as my D&D instincts kick in and I just want to either have an adventure or start cracking jokes.”
— uranium / NephalemZero
3.“In high school, my girlfriend heard that giving a blowjob with Pop Rocks in your mouth was supposed to be really awesome and feel amazing for the guy. It made sense to me, so we tried it. It felt like shards of glass mixed with gravel being scraped across my member. It was awful, and I immediately pulled away and was no longer in the mood, which, for a 15-year-old, is hard to accomplish, btw.”
— u / assfish9000
4.“The Standing 69 (just leave that shit to the porn stars). It’s a nightmare. You’re standing there fumble-fucking around trying not fall over and injure one another the entire time, so there’s really nothing fun about it.”
— u / JustSomeApparition
5.“Sex in a bed of rose petals. Oh, throw rose petals all around the bed — it’ll be romantic! They smell amazing as you crush them. But then you finish up and chill for a bit and realize you’re trapped because all of the crushed rose petals have hardened into razor sharp shards. You’re trapped naked in a pile of them.”
— preezyfabreezy
6.“Using a massage gun as a vibrator. Don’t try it out, ladies — you’ll get bruises, lol.”
— u / linaliciouss
7.“Anal — I have done it with multiple partners. Once you get past the sphincter, there is little to no texture. Too smooth in there for my liking. Any woman I’ve done it with could take it or leave it — it doesn’t matter how aroused and lubed up they are. It’s always a meh kinda thing.”
— u / Bullfist
8.“Cumming on a girl’s face. Porn would have you believe it’s the pinnacle of climax options until you realize you just took your dick out of someone’s mouth or vagina to finish with your own hand. Talk about snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.”
— u / Son_Of_Toucan_Sam
9.“Car sex (I can attest to the disappointment, especially when you’re both pretty tall). Even in a full-sized sedan, it’s pretty cramped, and both of us hit our heads on the door and ceiling. One time, we didn’t clean up as well as we’d thought. We were driving with one of our friends in the back, and he casually observes that it’s ‘just me and the used condom back here.'”
— u / The_Best_Yak_Ever
10.“Reverse cowgirl. From the woman’s perspective, it’s a weird combination of all the least fun bits of what should be your fun bits. No eye contact, staring at toe hairs. Yeah, I tried it only once.”
— u / kobayashi_maru_fail
11.“Let’s talk about how much shower sex sucks, especially in a bathtub shower. Washes all the lube off, it’s so fucking slippery (the tub is the slippery bit). I tried it with the wife once, and after a couple of minutes, we were like, ‘This sucks…’ Then I slipped and knocked both of us and a bunch of our stuff out of the shower. Thankfully, there were no injuries, but damn. Fantasy ruined (the shower rod and curtain were casualties — let’s have a moment of silence for their sacrifice).”
— u / Exotic - Sample9132
12.“Man, I thought a threesome would spice things up. But instead of a wild night to remember, it turned into a plot twist I didn’t see coming. My wife ended up leaving me for the other woman.”
— atomic number 92 / giantdickinmyface
13.“Sex on a sex swing. It’s hard to get the height right, you end up on your toes, or trying to bend at the knees for the right height.”
— u / Healthy - Bathroom2204
14.“Getting road head. It is really hard to focus on both the road and the head, so there’s a chance you’ll lose your boner.”
— uranium / lervington123
15.“Sucking your own dick — it feels more like sucking a dick than getting your own dick sucked. I was able to do it when I was more flexible (it’s sorta like how you can’t tickle yourself…).”
— uracil / PostingLoudly
16.“Up against the wall. It’s a hard-ass workout for me when holding her up — plus, it’s hard to get the thrusts at the right angle to actually be enjoyable. Best position is 100% doggy style — it’s comfortable, it hits just right with the angles, and it gives you a lot of options for extra things to do with your hands to increase pleasure for both partners.”
— uranium / itspieflavor
17.“Having one girl ride you while another girl is sitting on your face (both girls facing each other). The butt cheeks will slowly suffocate you. It’s like being waterboarded with wet skin and knowing you still gotta stay hard. But whatever…it still seemed like a good way to die if I had to choose.”
— u / Ins - n - out
18.“Phone sex. I’m so incredibly bad at it that I stutter and ‘um’ my way through it. I dated someone who loved it and convinced me to try it. ‘I’m…okay. I’m rubbing myself and it feels so good. Picturing you, baby.’ I don’t think I’ve ever been so embarrassed and flustered in my life.”
— atomic number 92 / BehindCheshireEyes
19."‘Titty fucking’ — it was literally pointless. No pleasure for her, barely any for me — I could have spent the time actually fucking instead."
— uranium / MisterAnthrope666
20."‘Sexy,’ edible stuff, like chocolate or honey. It’s just messy and physically off-putting by the end."
— u / lowercaseknife
21.“Hammock sex. We thought it would be sensual, rhythmic, and tropical. But, it’s really just like being two dolphins awkwardly trapped in tuna net.”
— atomic number 92 / jraz84
22.And finally: “If you’re a lesbian, sex in a hot tub. My ex-girlfriend and I were VERY sexually active in high school, so we wanted to switch things up. We went into her parents’ hot tub, started making out, and every so often, our mouths would breach the water (which was NOT sexy). It felt like we were drowning each other. One thing leads to another, and I’m trying to play with her boobs which was also leading me to be drowning once again. She starts fingering me, and the sensation was GODAWFUL. It felt like someone was peeing in me (she asked me if I was okay). l said yes, but I think she def knew I didn’t like this because that wrapped things up. TL;DR: Don’t have sex in a hot tub as a lesbian, or you might drown.”
— u / Civil_Increase_1074
Note : Some submissions have been edited for duration and/or clarity .
