" I ask my married person to send risque pic , and that does it for me . attractive force and love has gone up — I always knew smut was imitation . "
Recently, Reddit useru/nofreepizzaasked the community: “Men withporn addictions, how does this affect your relationship with your girlfriend/wife?”
They didn’t holdanythingback, and revealed the strong impact porn has had in their romantic lives (whether it’s for better or for worse).
So, here’s how porn has affected men’s relationships with women:
Note : These submission do n’t reflect a universal experience of the great unwashed who are addicted to porn . Everyone ’s story is dissimilar .
1.“I had a girlfriend for three years in my early 20s, and I firmly blame porn for my own elevated sex-drive and mounting frustration with my girlfriend who seemed practically sex averse. I remember a thought I had was that I could end it and find a more compatible girl very soon. That is still my longest lasting relationship, and while I’m over it now, looking back I had it better than I thought at the time. I have a very good relationship now where we both have a very casual relationship with porn. We use it to get ideas for ourselves, or to just lay about and masturbate.”
— u / Issah_Wywin
2.“I don’t watch porn anymore because I kicked the habit, but when I was in college, I did. I had a girlfriend, and it honestly made everything bad. It took a lot of the pleasure out of sex with her after a handful of times, and I’d have to think about other stuff to get off fully after a while (despite there being a hot girl who is exactly my type having sex with me). It also sort of ruined the bond we had because sex should be about love in a relationship, and the porn made me super cut off emotionally. I took her for granted and didn’t understand what sex really was (it wasn’t just grabbing a butt like a porn shoot). It ended up ruining the relationship and other relationships I had with partners. Porn 100% takes away the emotional experience of real sex.”
— u / ADHDbroo
3.“On a communication level, girls don’t seem to really understand that there is nothing they can do. They will ask me what they should do to turn me on more, and it’s just not about that. Depending on their background or opinion on porn, they won’t be bothered by the idea of you masturbating or watching porn when the ‘bad habit’ kicks in again. When I do have the occasional ‘bad habit’ relapse, I suppose I wish they would kinda encourage me to not entertain a ‘bad habit.’ But not all girls understand how damaging porn can be — some think it’s fun and liberating.”
" For anyone who is struggling with this still , it ’s important to define your destination , why you are doing it , and just get . You do n’t need to be perfectly quiet eternally — you do n’t need a complete dateless streak .
Things will exchange if you cut your employment / using up in one-half . If you’re able to , go from every day to once a week . Go from once a week to once every two hebdomad — you will still feel the benefits , and you get ta make minor , sustainable change that will over metre become one full-grown change . "
— uracil / Gobboking
4.“I just asked my partner for some spicy pics, and that did it for me. Attraction and love went up. I always knew porn was fake — it’s definitely good to stop looking at it (My god, don’t go on Twitter — I unfollowed every sex account and still see shit on my feed).”
— uracil / M3lbs
" Take the characterisation on her telephone sometimes . Say , ' Send these to me when you desire me to think about you . ' Take some of just her look — get esthetic with it ! Maybe shoot a few in disastrous and bloodless , utilize some filter . Women love exposure shoots — make them look sensational naked to advance their self - respect ( if they postulate it ) . "
— u / Oneshotwonderman
5.“So I’ve struggled with porn for the better part of about 20 years. Not like days straight of nothing but mindless scrolling and video watching, but definitely not a month went by where I didn’t get off to online content. I met an amazing woman about three weeks ago. Truth be told, on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being that I’ve lost control and jerked it to porn), I would say since I started seeing this fantastic girl, my porn urge has maybe cracked a 1? There’s nothing but hurt and pain in porn — the hurt I would cause my girlfriend for choosing images and videos over her. Sure, porn can deliver a much, MUCH wider range of imaginative content than ‘vanilla sex’ can, but loving intimacy with your significant other will always beat porn every day of the week. There is no love in porn.”
— uracil / hiddenforreasonsSV
6.“I cold turkey-ed porn about two months ago, and I am currently cold turkey-ing masturbating (I’m four days in). I’ve noticed I’ve gotten sexually attracted to women a lot easier, and I feel more energetic for sure. I was in bed with a one night stand a week ago and noticed no issues getting it up and staying hard, which used to be an issue. Definitely feel like my anger tolerance is lower, too — the gym and working out also keeps me sane. Highly recommend quitting porn if you can.”
— u / Dawaveishere
7.“It definitely negatively affects it! Real women have stretch marks, body odors, tastes, sweat, and imperfections. Performance anxiety is a real thing — real sex is nothing like in porn. One thing I have noticed is that I am able to read her body cues better.”
— u / UnfairPerformer1243
8.“I’ve been in a relationship for a little over a year, and my addiction has relaxed a little because of all of the intimacy. But, it is definitely still there. She knows this and doesn’t feel comfortable with the situation. I have tried many times to stop by making myself as busy as possible, but in the end, it comes back. It makes it hard to finish during intimacy and difficult to stay erect during our intimate times as well. I’m still trying to quit, but it’s impossible to quit cold turkey.”
— u / Are_a_piece_of_art
9.“I was watching porn before any relationship — but after I got out of one, I stopped trying to get back into one. It’s been five years since I’ve been in one.”
— uranium / bronden_shwabbat
10.“It made it harder to simply be present when I was around my girlfriend. We would be cuddling and watching a movie or something like normal teenagers do, and I would just be thinking about porn rather than enjoying what I have.”
— u / VacheL99
11.“I still jerk off once a day mostly, but not watching porn makes my life so much better. I have more energy, less anxiety, and feel happier.”
— u / JmoneyHimself
12.“I’m not sure if the habit came from problems with the wife, or problems with the wife came from the addiction. But, I will just watch some in the morning and some before bed (like catching up on the news). Over time I guess I became so exposed to it that my body doesn’t need/care for sex anymore. It hasn’t addressed the societal pressure that ‘you should be having sex with your wife to have a healthy relationship’ that pangs me at times. It’s the buildup of potential ideas of courting and the actual sex in my head. Then I get home, and it all just dissipates and is gone in minutes of walking through the door.”
— u / SleeplessBlueBird
13.“The sex improved when I quit.”
— u / Pequesss
14.“I’m single at the moment, but I had a ‘normal’ dating life. Few girlfriends, married, then divorced, then dated one person for a few months until now. It didn’t affect my relationships because just like some porn addicts, I learned to compartmentalize and keep them separate. I didn’t have some of the problems that most addicts have, either. Lasting forever to being desensitized, or the myth that you need to seek hardcore or extreme content to get your fix (because the ‘normal’ stuff doesn’t do anything anymore).”
" That has n’t happened to me — I ’ve been fairly uniform . Just ' normal ' sex , and I ’d rather watch homemade as opposed to professionally made content .
My use goes down when I ’m see someone — like as much as I ’m hook , it will never , ever supercede the real thing . But I still necessitate it from time to time — it ’s like a self - soothing mechanism .
So , I ’ve been in relationships before and after I got addicted ; it has n’t felt any different , to be reliable . But I ’m pretty sure I ’m an outlier . "
— u / DoJu318
15.And finally: “People always assume it’s just the sex that takes a hit when you’re addicted to porn, but it’s not. It goes beyond sex. The seduction, intimacy, flirting (all of which are things you do when you’re so in love and you find your partner so sexy). That goes when you go home and release your need to be seductive and intimate.”
" The before is what count — the intangible nuances that make your kinship so loving and intimate . Porn take that from you . Who care about flirting with your girl of five years when you could just jack off to essentially a supermodel when you get home ?
Everything ache , and it snowball and ripples out into things you never would ’ve sentiment would be affected by smut .
I hid my erotica habituation from my girlfriend of seven years during the whole relationship — we are no longer together , and I am still addicted to smut . "
— u / Forgotmychutney
Note : Some submissions have been blue-pencil for length and/or limpidity .
Let’s flip the script a little, folks. If you’re someone who identifies as a woman and has a porn addiction, how has it affected your romantic relationships?
