" Being an iPad babe must be soo exciting ; guess travel from nine dull month in the womb to playingCandy puppy love . "
Hello, hello! December is in full swing, and I’ve got a good chunk of holiday-themed tweets for ya this week. There’s lots of hilariousness to unpack, so let’s jump right into it:
1.
Terrified to visit my girl ’s small Ithiel Town for the holidays because I ’m a workaholic from a braggart metropolis and everyone keep endeavor to instruct me the genuine meaning of Christmas .
2.
there should be a " take your friend to body of work day " so we can really see what our friends do all twenty-four hours and meet the characters from all their work taradiddle
3.
i dated this guy rope in college and one time he lease me cadge a cig when i was intoxicated and i was like “ thank youuuu you are literally jesus ” and he enunciate , idle fucking serious , “ Please do n’t say that . It contributes to my messiah complex and I really do n’t desire to backslide . ”
4.
Being an ipad baby must be soo exciting imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing confect crush
5.
This is thee funniest fucking holiday tweetpic.twitter.com/ZsSMtdtPOw
6.
My 4 - year - old say she ’s frightened to become a turn up because she “ does n’t know how to do the gas post . ” She has no thought how real she ’s being in good order now
7.
Just got myself a shoe stand 🤝 pic.twitter.com/ZjpDCenhcZ
8.
https://t.co/SJBgFHEwNrpic.twitter.com/RDbg4J53N7
9.
Being short is so random . Like why am I down here
10.
Everytime I got ta walk across grass as a shortcut I ’m like yeah this is what Pythagoras theorem is all abt
11.
annual reminder that one class my ma sent out her christmas cards without looking at them first and did n’t see they printed them with “ Lou ” instead of “ Love ” and everyone call and take her who tf Lou was and she had no idea what they were talk aboutpic.twitter.com/7Hrg9ypbia
12.
why does this school text from my mom take like poetrypic.twitter.com/2bY2v7BIyh
13.
This guy wire kept steal packages from my friend ’s building so they put up his photo in the lobby . Then he came back the next day disguised as a witch and tore the photo down 😭 😭 😭 pic.twitter.com/lYoHouQGpI
14.
- me getting my oil changed*mechanic : “ we ’ve also notice that—“me : pic.twitter.com / rPZSptQr5x
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( endeavor to make loose conversation ) did you have a go at it that one serving of gogurt is 3 subway ? a quite a little of people would think one tube , but you’re able to actually have three . three vacuum tube , if you want
17.
Something you go buy in secrecyhttps://t.co/exGj8tX0CS
18.
tf King Julien need with me ? 🤔 pic.twitter.com/WvraB6gNt2
19.
Bitches be station “ nobody give care about your Spotify wrapped ” and then post a motion picture of their baby ? ? ?
20.
pic.twitter.com/jm1d5Obuje
21.
eu amo o nome do meu kindlepic.twitter.com/FHY9ig2rVm
22.
Me when i ’m on the western fronthttps://t.co/b8ih7nFz2A
23.
ur parents should have named u beethoven cuz ur a symp and a phony
24.
you know if they just introduced seatbelts now conservativist would be so mad
25.
i get my girl chick fil a catering at her party yesterday she blab out i thought i enjoin chipotle 😭 😭 😭 😭 i do not wish kids fr
26.
It ’s so funny that one of Santa ’s reindeer is named Vixen . He ’s like “ and this … is the sexy one . ”
27.
hormonal acne leave me alone … i am not stiff enough to agitate you constantly … i m just a beautiful lady friend please … please detain aside
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29.
Haters will line you a hot tub only to commence slicing carrot into it
30.
This valet has ostensibly been at the bar for 6 + hours , discount his girlfriend ’s calls for the last 3 hours and not listening when his protagonist was telling him to go home to her and their newborn baby . Tell me why she walked in , said nothing , put the babe down next to him and WALKED OUT!pic.twitter.com / qeUosBmwYO
31.
this kid is so lucky , his parents are richie rich and london tipton that net worth is crazyhttps://t.co/Psoahye0Ch
Don’t forget to follow these creators for more laughs! You can find more hilarious tweets from past weekshere.
