" After 15 years , my wife , 39 , told me , 37 , she wants a divorce , but does n’t reckon it ’s necessary for me to move out . For most of our relationship , I have shoulder the volume of our living expenses . "
If you clicked on this article, then you’re obviously here for the mess, so let’s just get right into it. Recently, I came across thisstoryby Reddit userInColour-0331— who we’ll call InColor for short — about her wife’s recent decision to file for divorce. However, despite wanting a separation in the relationship, she doesn’t want anyone changing home addresses.
Here’s the story in InColor’s own words: “After 15 years, my wife, 39, told me, 37, she wants a divorce, but doesn’t think it’s necessary for me to move out. For most of our relationship, I have shouldered the bulk of our living expenses.”
" After year of being in and out of work , she in the end find a stiff problem in 2021 . However , her contributions to the household have still been thin . She is only responsible for the rent , which I recently found out does n’t always get ante up on time or in full . Everything else , utility program , insurance , groceries , phone , railway car banker’s bill , etc . are on me . "
“When we first got together, she had a good job, but shortly after we started living together, things changed. She decided she wasn’t fulfilled with her chosen career and wanted to pursue art, which I encouraged and supported because I loved her and wanted her to be happy. Thus, it is putting me in the position to be the only one with a steady income for the last decade. It hasn’t always been easy, especially during the pandemic, but I’ve always kept us afloat while she has remained carefree and unencumbered.”
" I have also raised my step - fry ( twins , 22 ) who still live with us and are n’t currently cultivate or in school day . However , now that she wants a divorce , I do n’t think it is fairish for me to outride and continue rent care of a household of adults . Plus , being in the star sign is painful for me , which she think I will get past once I ' ascertain pacification . ' "
“Her argument is that she travels a lot now, so me moving isn’t a big deal because she can just sleep on the couch when she comes home and that I’m still her best friend. But I believe her reasons are more likely that she knows she can’t take care of the bills on her own, and she wants to keep me around so she can keep living off my salary. So, am I the asshole, if I start looking for my own place without telling her?”
I don’t think you’ll be surprised to learn that most readers were absolutely gobsmacked over the gall of InColor’s ex.
" I would move out and ' find oneself pacification ' in your own animation arrangements , " userElectronic_Fox_6383said . " Best of luck to you . "
“Not the asshole,” userjdz-615agreed. “If she wants a divorce, why would you still live together? … She wants you to stay so her lifestyle doesn’t change.”
And speaking of her lifestyle — most people were stuck on the fact that InColor is paying for her wife’s adult children and their lifestyles as well. “Not the asshole. Your wife has been nothing but a freeloader, and her adult children are going in that direction, as they have learnt from the best,” userAggressive-Peace-698said.
" The fact that she wants you to stay for the BS reason she has give , which just insults your intelligence , shows she wants to have her cake and eat it . However , go to a attorney as soon as you may to query about the financial place , especially the debt they have incurred , for instance not keep up with the rent , so as to see whether or not you are apt . "
Seeking a lawyer, most agreed, was the most obvious and necessary next step.
" It always seems like the mortal start the divorcement has their plan all figured out and differentiate the person they are leaving what they expect them to do . Consult your OWN lawyer before you do anything , then let your spouse do it what you ’ll be doing . It does n’t unremarkably match their plans for you , but that ’s not your problem , " userGrilled_Cheese10advised .
Separation, both physically and emotionally, are imminent, and wanting to move out does not make InColor the asshole. However, how they handle the move could affect their future. So, instead of moving out without warning, some suggested a concise conversation be held for the good of all parties.
" You need to regard whether you need to bide on good price with the X for reasons of : plus splitting , potential maintenance payments , and whether you want a relationship with [ your ] step - daughter , " usertsunamisurfer35said . " If you wanted to be nice , you could provide a date that you will be move out with XYZ items , and no longer be responsible for any financial commitments of the household from that date . We do n’t know your circumstances in point but deserving considering . "
