" I hate nice guys . Why ? Because I was one for a very long time . try me out … "
A man named Daryl Goh has gone viral for making a 6-minute video detailing what a “nice guy” is vs. what an actual nice guy is. Have a watch and we will break it down below:
Something that s very personal to me , go for it has aid you son out there . Share if it was helpful!#tiktoksg 🇸 🇬 #datingsg#niceguy#niceguysfinishlast#niceguysyndrome
Daryl told BuzzFeed he decided to make the video because he felt that he used to be someone who had the tendencies of a “nice guy.”
He explained that a “nice” guy is someone who thinks he does nice things because he’s genuinely nice but, in reality, he is only doing those things because he is expecting an eventual reward for his niceness.
In the video, he further explains with an example, “They’re the ones who treat their crush and love interest like a princess, putting them up on a pedestal. And this is a crucial part: He thinks to himself, ‘Hey, eventually if I show her enough affection and do all these nice things for her, one day she’ll realize what a nice person I am and fall in love with me.”
“‘Nice guys’ think they are selfless when in reality, they are highly selfish. Again, the difference between the nice guy and the actual nice guy is that the actual nice guy has no agenda for being nice,” he goes on to say in the video.
So, what are some ways to tell if you’re with a “nice guy” or a genuinely nice guy? Daryl said if you feel like the guy needs excessive appreciation and affection for the “nice” things they do for you, it could be a red flag.
The main villain of the movieMegamind, Hal, is a textbook example of a nice guy, according to Daryl. He also said that Cinema Therapy does a really good video covering this inMEGAMIND and Nice Guy™ Syndrome:
“Being someone who experienced this phase before, I can understand how hard it can be for someone to break out of that mindset. That’s why I found it important to talk about this for my local audience because I never really saw anyone talking about it before online,” he shared.
He continued, saying, “I wasn’t the most charming, confident, or attractive guy while growing up. In a bid for a relationship with girls my age at the time, I thought that I had to do these kind things and nice things for them to like me, to gain their validation. The kind of things you see in movies. Persistence through doing nice things would eventually win you the girl. All it led to were feelings of resentment when they eventually rejected me or got together with another person. I started to realize that the problem wasn’t the girls — it was actually me. I started working on myself instead of trying to gain external validation. I guess I classify myself as someone who’s matured from that phase now.”
“It’s easy to brand fake nice guys as incels and whatnot, but behind their behavior, there’s probably a reason why they turn out that way. Be it a lack of affection from their preferred gender or a lack of confidence. It would be imperative to practice compassion rather than malice for people who turn out this way. I used to be one, but I do feel like I’ve changed for the better, so it is indeed possible,” he concluded.
And a lot of current “nice guys” are having their own realizations about themselves.
Special thanks to Daryl, you can follow him and check out more of his content onYouTube,TikTok, andInstagram.
