" This is the prototype of expect wife duty for girl wages . "
It’s no secret that finances are one of the biggest reasons why couples break up. And if you’re on totally different pages on top of that? Big yikes.
Well, I recently stumbled acrossthis postin the “Am I the Asshole” subreddit where a man was laid off and expected his girlfriend to cover the bills. Here’s the full story:
BTW , if you ’ve never listen of it , r / AmItheAssholeis a position where people can ask folk on the internet to press in on if they ’re being an asshole or not in certain situations .
“I lost my job four months ago, and EI (unemployment) doesn’t cover my full living expenses. I had to buy a car since mine had 330,000 km on it, and the engine issue wasn’t worth fixing. After that, I had a couple thousand saved, and that has been completely wiped out, and now I’m not able to cover all my expenses. I asked my GF to help cover my expenses, and she has refused because I didn’t propose before this. We had been dating for three years and moved in for two.”
“She had told me three dates in that she expected to be engaged after about two years of dating, and she is very unhappy with me because I didn’t propose. I’m sure she is the one; I’m just still hesitant about marriage, and she has told me she is trying to get over the fact she wasted three years with me. I told her to give me some time, and she has thankfully not pushed it. This was shortly before my work announced they were cutting people, and I was let go.”
“Now, she says I’m expecting too much from her since I’m not ready for marriage but expecting her to help me with rent. We have been dating for three years — doesn’t that count for something?! If it was a year in, I understand if it was too early, but we have been together for a long time. But she said it was meaningless because I haven’t proposed, and she refuses to help me as I could just decide I don’t want marriage and bail at any time. I could have bailed at any time while dating and still can bail after we get engaged, but I didn’t, and I won’t. We have been serious for a long time; why are the ring and marriage all that matter?!”
“I’ve told her since she won’t help, it’s shown me she isn’t serious, too. She told me it’s fine, we can just end the lease, and I can go back to living with family if I can’t afford rent here. I’m getting interview requests back and did an interview already. Although I didn’t get it, it’s wild to me that she would waste three years over covering a bit more rent and groceries.”
As you might imagine, there were tons of responses for this one!
In case you ’re not familiar , citizenry usually reply with one of four options : YTA ( you ’re the A - trap ) , NTA ( not the A - trap ) , ESH ( everyone suck here ) , or NAH ( no A - hole here ) .
Most people thought this guy was the A-hole:
" Your bills are your obligation . If you were n’t living together , she would have zero responsibility to cover you . As impractical as a ' two - year - mark proposal ' is , she was upfront about it and her desire to get marry . And I can see from her perspective that it just does n’t find like you ’re committed to her , so why should she adorn her heavily - earn money into you at this point ? You ’re gestate everything without giving anything . "
— uracil / ThisIsTheCaptain
" YTA . Well , well , well , how the tables have turned ! She told you her terms for a more committed kinship , and you ’ve resist them . She has keep your family relationship but has adjust her expectations and contributions consequently . Why should she change them because suddenly you take the benefits of a more attached human relationship , but are n’t willing to actually make the commitment ? This is the epitome of expecting married woman duties for girl wages . "
— u / suffragette_citizen
" YTA . Your expenses are your province . Four months is plenty of time to find a job . She wants a cooperator , and you need to be a mooch . You ’re threatening to end the relationship because she wo n’t pull your weight , too . It ’s well-defined who is invest , and it ’s not you . "
— u / Ok_Register3005
But others thought OP wasn’t to blame:
" NTA . I am in exchangeable position . My boyfriend is now also search for a job . We ’ve been together for three age and survive together . I never , ever even had a dubiety in my read/write head to not facilitate the someone I love while he has difficulty . Because that ’s what partners are suppose to do . When there is difficult metre , they help each other . For me , the annulus means nothing . It is a formalities , which benefits you only when you deal with bureaucratic material . You need to find a soul who divvy up your values . And so far , I do n’t see that your girlfriend has the same outlook on relationships as you . "
— u / Ok_Pomegranate2820
" NTA . My girlfriend and I have been together for six age . For those saying that she does n’t need to help him because they are n’t ' wed ' and do n’t have children : My lady friend and I have both lost job and had to cover each other ’s expenses at different times . Also , four months in not enough time to see a real task . I had to get a shitty retail job after six month because I could not get hired . I reckon the girl is being toxic and manipulative . ' You want my reinforcement ? Marry me , and then we ’ll talk . ' "
— u / Binx_Thackery
And some thought everyone sucked in this situation:
" NAH / ESH . You guys are not compatible together . I think it ’s stupid for her to have a toilsome timeline of ' propose by now or else , ' but you also make out she had this limit , so it ’s just as stupid for you to brush aside it . You are right that you could easily take the air by from an engagement as well , but I also see why she feel like you ’d be taking advantage of her . Whether or not you agree with her timeline , you are not giving her something that is important to her , but you gestate her to give to you . This is just not a fairish human relationship anymore and possibly never was . "
— uranium / feyinbetween
— uranium / KrackaWoody
