" I really dislike parties and large gatherings , so it was a sedative when I hear that my son was going to have a wedding with around 150 people … "
Typically, when we think of weddings, we think of family and happy times. However, there are those situations where weddings can be disasters — some even tear families apart, unfortunately. Well, Reddit useru/Medical_Comment_5527may have fallen into the latter category; let’s get into it…
U/Medical_Comment_5527is asking people if he’s an asshole because he left his son’s wedding early and now the couple is pissed. His 26-year-old son named Alan married 25-year-old Helen, and he loves them both. He has no reason to be UNhappy about the wedding.
But,u/Medical_Comment_5527doesn’t like parties and large gatherings. “I’m not sociable at all, and I really just dislike them. So it was kind of a downer when I heard that Alan and Helen were going to have a wedding with around 150 people. I told Alan ahead of time that I would probably leave early. He looked like he didn’t mind at the time. So at the wedding itself, after the ceremony, I basically told him that I was glad and it looked great, but I was going to go home.”
He continued in the Reddit thread, “He asked if I was going to at least stay for cake or for food, but the food didn’t look all that appetizing to me, so I told him I was just going to leave. He said, ‘Alright, whatever, just go.’ I went back to my table to get my stuff. I told my wife, and she said she didn’t feel comfortable driving back alone (the venue was very far from us, and the roads there were not great). I said she should come with me, and after some hemming and hawing, she agreed. So we left.”
U/Medical_Comment_5527elaborated that his son DID include him and his wife in the count for food costs. And that his wife DID miss the mother/son dance since they left.
A couple days later, Helen confrontedu/Medical_Comment_5527and his wife. “She bombarded us with messages that she was disgusted with us, saying horrible things about us, and insulting us as people and as parents. Really just sickening. I told her off and asked why she thought it was okay to talk to her in-laws like that.”
Helen then told him that his leaving “ruined” their wedding for Alan, and he was upset for the rest of the night. “She continued to berate us. I politely told her to leave us alone and called Alan, mainly to inform him that his wife had a temper that he should know about,” saidu/Medical_Comment_5527.
“When we talked about it, he basically started berating me, too. He said things like, ‘You always do this’ and ‘Just leave me alone’ before hanging up. I feel like I’m justified since I told him ahead of time that I wasn’t going to stay. AITA here?”
I think the answer is pretty obvious here, but let’s see what Reddit users said:
“You’re the asshole. You didn’t even stay for the meal that they’d paid for. What an absolutely disgusting lack of love and respect from you as a parent. You also strong-armed your wife into leaving so your son had no parents present at his reception. How you don’t see that you’re the asshole is a mystery to me.” —u/CrystalQueen3000.
“100% asshole. It’s your son’s wedding, and no matter how uncomfortable you feel, it’s your duty as a father to be there. It’s one evening. Suck it up, man.” —u/OrbAndSceptre
“You missed all of the traditional wedding reception things. You didn’t make a speech, and your wife didn’t dance with your son. He didn’t have his parents there to celebrate with him, even for an hour or two. You didn’t express love, just a ‘Hey, you look great, but I am going to leave.’ Then you dragged your wife with you because you couldn’t be bothered to give him two hours of your time at his WEDDING. ASSHOLE.” —u/sheramom4
“You’re an asshole. The fact that he’s telling you, ‘You always do this’ strongly suggests that this recent blow-up isn’t just about the wedding. Aside from that, this is one of the most important days in your son’s life so far, and you couldn’t even be bothered to stick around for the toast. I mean, the fact that your response to the whole thing was, ‘Meh, the food didn’t look that good to me, so we bailed, and I took his mother with me’ speaks volumes to the relationship here.” —Samael13
“This was your son’s WEDDING day. Do you honestly have no sense of what is the expected behavior of the parents of the groom? Hint: Staying through dinner is the bare minimum. It seems like you genuinely don’t care about your son’s feelings at all. My own dad is very shy and introverted, and he worked so hard to put a speech together for my wedding and be friendly and sociable at the reception even though I told him he didn’t have to. He said, ‘You’ve always made me proud, and today I want to make you proud.’ I wish everyone could have such a wonderful dad.” —u/Allaboutbird
“You’re an asshole. My dad did this at my wedding. I begged him, crying, to stay. I didn’t get a father/daughter dance. It’s been 19 years, and I am still not over it. We have basically no relationship anymore.” —lynypixie
“Wow. When your son stops speaking with you, remember his wedding. Oh, wait — you were barely there. Regardless, you’re an asshole.” —Beck2010
