If you ’re a adult female , it ’s more than potential that you ’ve experience some degree of sexism in both your personal life and your professional life .
If you’re a woman, you’ve probably experienced some degree of sexism, in your personal life as well as your professional life. It’s especially aggravating when you’re trying to get something done, and the man who should be working with you instead ignores you for another man who happens to be present — whether it’s a male partner, relative, friend, or colleague.
It’s important to discuss these experiences to highlight their prevalence and empower more women to speak up when they find themselves in these situations. In the past, we’vesharedthe experiences of women from theBuzzFeed Community. Hundreds of women wrote in, so in an effort to continue centering their voices, here are more of their stories. Some responses are also fromthisReddit thread.
1.“I’m a woman who helps run a construction company. One day, a supply company called looking to connect with us. The rep asked for ‘the man in charge.’ I told him that the closest he was getting to ‘a man in charge’ was me because I make the supplier decisions. I then asked if he wanted to tell me about his company. He said, ‘Oh, no thanks. I’ll call back when the boss man is around,’ and immediately hung up. I was so mad at his casual sexism that I actually called him back.”
2.“I bought my first apartment four years ago, and it came with a parking spot. I decided to rent it out, since I didn’t have a car. This guy from the neighborhood agreed to rent it, and when we met up to sign the papers, he asked to deal with my husband. I replied, ‘I don’t have a husband, asshat.’ It took him a second to comprehend that and finish the paperwork.”
" He would then miss his payments until I remind him as if he were a petulant child . I had never been so mad at someone in my whole liveliness . "
— rush1986
3.“I worked at a home furnishings store for 10 years during my 20s. My main task was unloading heavy furniture from our trucks. None of the drivers ever said anything about it. They knew that most of our employees were women and didn’t care as long as the trucks were unloaded. On the other hand, customers who needed help bringing furniture to their cars would ask, ‘Where’s the strong man to lift this?’ Right here, I am the strong man — even though I’m a 5-foot-3-inch woman. I took this off the truck, so I can definitely put it in your car.”
— fleeceblankie
4.“I needed a car. After my husband and I agreed on what we were willing to spend, I went to the distributor, picked a vehicle, and negotiated the cost. I then asked my husband to accompany me to sign. The dealer put the entire thing in my husband’s name. I was so irritated. The dealer offered to rewrite all the forms, but we’d already been there for hours and had no desire to continue.”
" My hubby was also irritated at the assumption that it would be under his name . "
— lisacoyan
5.“When I ordered something I knew would be spicy, the waiter turned to my husband and said, ‘That’s quite spicy. Will she be okay with that?’ He then doubled down on the sexism by bringing my husband a pint glass and me a half when we ordered beers.”
6.“Before buying a car, I had done all of the research into dealerships, expected costs, etc. I found one that was perfect for my husband and me, but when we went to buy it, the salesperson only talked to him. We both kept trying to redirect his attention to me. After the third time, I snapped. I told him, ‘I’m the one who looked into this. I’m the person who picked this car. He’s just here to cosign. If this isn’t going to work out, I have another car in mind at a different dealership.'”
" It took a second for that to drop in . Throughout the rest of the dealings , I had his full attention . "
— omid2
7.“My car’s starter went out, so I took it in. The mechanic said it was probably my battery, but I explained that I had recently replaced the battery myself and asked him to please replace the starter. He told me he’d check the battery and get back to me. After reiterating that the battery was fine, I told him I would not pay for a new battery or the cost of labor if he replaced it. An hour later, he called me and said, ‘It was the starter. We replaced it. That will be $600.’ When I asked him for what, he replied, ‘Well, the new battery was—’ I cut him off and immediately called him out.”
" I say , ' I fucking told you there was nothing wrong with that battery and to replace the starter . You by design disregard me because I ’m a cleaning lady . I do n’t fucking apprise that . Now , put my barrage back in and take the labor off because I told you in the first deuced place there wasnothingwrong with it and that I would not be paying if you did precisely what I severalize you not to do . '
" I then asked him if I should put this on Yelp , since he ignored me doubly — adding that it would n’t look good , given the recapitulation he already had — and if I needed to talk to the possessor . He follow my direction after that . "
— KayOss
8.“I bought insurance in my name through AAA, making me the primary member. When I got the bill, I saw that the bastard insurance guy downgraded me to associate member and named my husband the primary. Meanwhile, I was still paying the full price of a primary member.”
" I was furious and had a major jamboree with that guy at the AAA office . "
— babycapricorn129
9.“I used to work at a boutique hotel. We were having issues with the laundry equipment, so my general manager let me know that a repair person was coming to take a look. She would be late that day, so she asked me to step in for her, since I knew the ins and outs of the property and the issues. When the guy arrived, my coworker — the front desk personality hire who was incompetent — asked if he could tag along to the laundry room. Whenever I asked a question, the repair guy turned to answer my coworker, who had no idea what was happening. He refused to look at me, showed my coworker the equipment mechanisms, and then shook his hand when he left.”
10.“I was called into human resources to be fired once the asshole I worked for decided he didn’t want me as an assistant anymore. The HR rep handed me the severance paperwork and said, ‘Have your father look it over.’ I replied that my father didn’t finish high school and would have no idea what this was about. I read it, signed it, and walked out.”
— hannahs77
11.“When family plans were new in the cellphone world, I signed up for one. I then added my dad, since I paid for his phone. When he died, I went to cancel his phone but was told only the primary account holder could do that. Of course, I was the primary holder. I showed them the contract paperwork, my ID, and my dad’s death certificate. I even pointed to the name of the primary holder and then to myself. Still, they insisted on talking to my father. I finally told them to call his phone, which rang right in my hand. I then answered it and said, ‘This is Dad’s phone; he’s dead.'”
" If my concern are n’t come up to , the task sit at a standstill until I ’m slaked that everything is take upkeep of . My virile colleague has nothing to do with that process . "
— absepa
13.“I work from home and handle the bills and money, but I dread needing work done on the house. Heaven forbid awomanknows what’s wrong, what needs to be fixed, and anything about math! We recently had to get our water heater replaced, and the dude who did it kept asking for my husband. When I finally asked why, he stuttered over his words and gave lame excuses. I then said, ‘What? Because I have boobs, I can’t make decisions or understand your big, strong, man words?'”
14.“I recently booked my and my boyfriend’s flights for a holiday. I was the lead passenger, since I paid for it and (naturally) used my email address and phone number. However, when the airline sent the confirmation — to my email, mind you — it was addressed to my boyfriend!”
" It made me really mad . "
— lisaw43088f482
15.“After playing acoustic guitar for more than 20 years, I decided I wanted an electric guitar and went to my local Guitar Center. I spent some time looking at Fender Stratocasters, but no one paid me any attention. After 30 minutes, a very young sales guy finally came over and asked if I needed help. I said yes and that I wanted to buy a Stratocaster. He immediately asked, ‘Oh! Who’s it for? Your husband or your son?’ When I told him it was for me, he showed me a Squier (Fender’s budget line) and said, ‘This is a good one for a beginner.’ I just looked at him — he was probably 19 — and told him, ‘I’ve been playing guitar since before you were a sperm.'”
" While he falter , I told him to show me one I had been look at . Though I in all probability should n’t have , I grease one’s palms it . "
— kebneter
16.“Two years ago, my boyfriend moved intomyapartment, and we added him to the lease as a tenant. I had already lived there for five years then. When it was time to renew our lease, they listed him as the first tenant and addressed the email only to him. What the fuck? Needless to say, I sent a very angry email to property management.”
" Bonus : After relaying this story to a node , she asked me if it was because it was alphabetical — like that ’s a fucking excuse ? ! By the way , it ’s not . My initials are J.G. , and his are P.P. "
— jgruetzemacher
17.“My mom’s car broke down in a desolate area, so she called AAA to get the car. The man on the phone told her, ‘Ma’am, we cannot come out to fix your car without your husband’s permission.’ Confused, she asked why. He responded, ‘We see the car listed under [my dad]. Because it’s not [my dad] calling us, we cannot help you, as this may be a stolen vehicle,’ implying that she stole it.”
18.“I called a maintenance guy to check out a noise I knew my water heater shouldn’t be making. He showed up after three hours and several calls, tightened a few screws, and said I was hearing things. I told him to check again. Water heatersdo notsqueal loudly at random intervals for no reason. Plus, I had no hot water. He shrugged me off and told me he’d either speak to my husband or leave. I said, ‘Fine, but don’t get pissy when I call you with a foot of water downstairs at 3 a.m.’ Sure enough, the water heater started wailing around 2 a.m. When I went downstairs, the lower level was underwater.”
" The upkeep guy rope was extremely cockeyed about being awake up in the middle of the night , but I do n’t give a fuck . "
— pinkjadeybug
19.“I bought my house when I was 32. At the signing, as I read through the paperwork, the male seller’s male lawyer said, ‘You don’t need to read all that.’ They both laughed. I looked him dead in the eye and asked, ‘Are you going to be paying my mortgage for the next 30 years?’ He said, ‘Of course not.’ I replied, ‘Then shut up until I’m done reading.’ Cue shocked expressions.”
" The male seller was inept and flash . He painted over all the outlet and switch covers alternatively of remove them . He used an old alloy vacuum wand as a pipework under my kitchen cesspit rather than buy the correct parts . He used nails ( instead of screw ) to repair the deck — and even fail to utilize galvanized nails — so there were rust fungus spots around each one .
" The manful attorney also break down to do a proper rubric search . I ended up file a title insurance call and catch a sweet $ 12,000 back for half an acre list on my act but sold individually . Who ’s the bitch now ? "
— NikkiSevven
20.“When I interviewed a male candidate, I brought a male member from my team. He would work directly with the new hire, so I wanted his input. We introduced ourselves clearly and explained our roles, but the candidate didn’t look at me when answering questions — even those I asked directly. In the end, I asked if he had any questions for us. He then asked my male colleague about the next steps and time frame for hiring.”
" My co-worker responded , ' I do n’t do it . Ask her ; she ’s the one hiring . ' You could see ' I ’m not getting this occupation ' flash across his face , and he was proper ! He did not get the job . "
— lauraa44514358a
21.“My husband and I are both on active duty in the military. Our 11-year-old son has epilepsy, so we have to keep his medical records up-to-date. When I brought him for a regular physical, his doctor said, ‘His epilepsy paperwork expires in a few months. Make sure that gets updated, or else Dad can’t change duty stations.’ I was in uniform and said, ‘And I can’t leave either. I’ll set up another appointment to fix it.'”
22.“I have an autoimmune condition, so my PCP put me on methotrexate. When I saw a rheumatologist, he said I shouldn’t be taking that because it would be very toxic to the fetus if I got pregnant. I informed him that I knew and was in a long-term, monogamous relationship with my boyfriend, who got a vasectomy after I had an ectopic pregnancy while on birth control. He then asked if I was married. When I said no, he replied, ‘If you’re not married, you might find another boyfriend and get pregnant.'”
" There ’s so much wrong with that . Plenty of marriages end in divorcement , and plenitude of married people cheat anyway . A wedlock certificate should n’t be necessary to legitimize your relationship .
" Anyway , he refused to write me a script for methotrexate and put me on Plaquenil . As it turns out , I ’m highly sensitized to Plaquenil . I had a full - physical structure skin rash and was so fidgety , I could barely stand it . I then learned that the medication has an extremely long half - life , like 45 days . For two month , I had to take Benadryl or hydroxyzine hydrochloride and could scantily function .
" It ’s not the rheumatologist ’s fault that I had a very rare sensitised reaction , but he would n’t give me the medication I was happy with and knew worked because I was n’t wed , and assumed I ’d be going through boyfriends . I could ’ve avoided the miserableness of having hives for two months if the rheumatologist — whom I never snuff it back to — was n’t a woman hater . "
— Heatherbeshe
23.“My mom tried to change something on her wireless plan, which was in her name. They wouldn’t do it without her husband’s approval. She had to get my teenage brother on the phone to pretend to be her husband.”
" Life is ridiculous being a woman . "
— j45653cf3d
24.“I was in the hospital with sepsis. On a scale of 1 to 10, my pain level was an 8 to 10. The doctor wouldn’t do a thing for it and at one point even turned to my husband and said, ‘Wouldyoube in this much pain?'”
" My hubby seldom acquire mad , but he lost it . "
— InsertWitHere
25.“During my time in the military, I was injured in Afghanistan and got a Purple Heart. After I was medically discharged, I put a Purple Heart license plate on my pickup. As I was getting out of my truck in a mall parking lot one day, a man walking by said, ‘Thank your husband for his service.’ I said, ‘Excuse me?’ He said, ‘The Purple Heart plate — we thank your husband for his service.’ I replied, ‘One, I’m not married and never have been. Two, that’s my Purple Heart.’ His wife turned bright red, and he got all flustered before saying, ‘I didn’t know females could get Purple Hearts.'”
26.“I had a stalker for well over a year. I called the police multiple times, but they refused to open a case or even formally take down my information untilmy dadcalled on my behalf. He was absolutely livid. They called me immediately after speaking with him.”
" I was a grownup adult and not living at home . They did nothing afterwards , but that ’s another issue . "
— promising.young.woman
27.“In seventh grade, I had surgery on my toe. I had a note to excuse me from PE, but that didn’t matter to our male teacher. He had a history of sexist behavior and insisted I still play kickball. I was a shy, quiet kid who always did what my teachers said, but I knew I couldn’t possibly play kickball. He disregarded any of my reasoning and the note. Finally, a boy in my class said that I really did just have surgery. Our teacher immediately believed him and said I could sit out. The boy didn’t even know if I’d had surgery.”
" He just knew I was n’t a liar and that this instructor was an ass . "
— misssmm
28.“I have endometriosis and other chronic issues, so I needed a partial hysterectomy. Initially, my doctor told me I couldn’t have one because my husband might want to get me pregnant — so basically, I was told I should suffer and possibly die rather than not have children.”
" I do n’t even need children . "
— zombiedolllizkah
29.“A client of mine once hired me as a lead generator at a big international trade show. At some point, a man approached our booth, so I went to introduce myself. He didn’t even look me in the eyes before saying, ‘No, thanks. I don’t want coffee.'”
30.“I hold a trade card at a well-known auto parts chain. Every damn time I present it, I’m questioned. Why do I have it? Who does it belong to? I once gave it to my husband and asked him to pay. He wasn’t asked any questions at all.”
" Heaven forestall a char should forge on cars and merit a trade discount . "
— emilyb4e5865956
31.“I bought a house a few years ago that my boyfriend moved into. He wasn’t on the title, but the community required me to list whoever lives in the house. Our mortgage has since come in his name because he’s the male on the list, even though the house is entirely in my name.”
— WowThat’sCrazy
32.“When I bought my first apartment, a removal company came to my old place for an estimate. They spoke almost exclusively to my male friend. He didn’t live with me, wasn’t moving, and definitely wasn’t paying. He just happened to be at my house when they arrived.”
" He had to leave for them to concentre on me and resolve my questions . "
— kkat22
33.“I work in construction as an engineer. That means when on a job site, I’m typically the one who knows what needs to get done and how. Everyone else on the job is usually male. Although the guys direct them to talk to me, people coming onto the site always try to talk to them.”
34.“After I had my appendix taken out, I asked my doctor when it would be okay to have sex again. He turned to my husband and said, ‘Whenever you feel ready, you can begin sexual relations again.'”
" I do n’t know if he was uncomfortable talking to me about it or was deferring to my hubby ’s orientation . Either way , it was unusual . "
— u / DundieAwardWinner525
35.“I once caught some hunters trespassing on my property. I wasn’t rude to them; I just waved from the other side of the field. The next day, they showed up at my house. One gestured toward the police car in the driveway and asked to speak to my husband about hunting in our woods. I told him, ‘You can talk to him if you want, but that’s my Cruiser, and this is my land, not his.’ They still insisted on getting permission from my husband.”
— u / Moleypeg
36.“At work, I was meeting a new vendor, Pat, who was to service one of the facility systems I oversaw. Pat had already met the (male) facilities engineer who introduced me. Instead of talking directly to me, Pat shook my hand, turned to my coworker, and asked, ‘And what does she do here?’ A few weeks later, Pat had the unpleasant opportunity to learn that I’m the one who calls him when his company falls through and doesn’t deliver.”
" gratuitous to say , I was not overly polite about it when Pat failed to do his job . "
— u / mchla
37.“When my parents and I went to look at colleges, the admissions guy opened by shaking my dad’s hand, directed questions only to my dad, and then looked to my dad for confirmation whenever my mom said something.”
38.“I made an appointment for help with my taxes and communicated before the appointment that I was a new 1099 worker. I had a lot of questions. Whenever I asked one, the accountant addressed my husband, who has always worked a W-2 job, had few questions, and doesn’t handle our finances. On top of that, all the paperwork was under his name, and the accountant only addressed him in emails.”
" Fuck that hombre . "
— u/_Dandy _
39.“My husband and I bought a new mattress at a furniture store. We agreed to make a joint decision on the feel of it, but since I was paying for it, I had the final say on the price and warranty. The salesperson talked to my husband more than me, but I’m used to it. Out of nowhere, my husband wandered away as if he’d never seen a furniture store before. He then came back and asked me, ‘Can I have some money? I’m going to check out the [dumb decorative thing].’ While I was weirded out — I’ve never seen him care about so much as a lamp — I said, ‘Sure’ and handed him some cash. Immediately, the salesperson stopped paying attention to my husband and began speaking to me.”
" abruptly , in his mind , I was wearing the gasp . He asked me what I did for a living , and I was capable to negotiate a broken damage for the mattress . My husband knew exactly what he was doing . I sleep together him so much . "
— u / HansGruberHangover
40.“My old teacher told me about a cold caller she dealt with in the ’90s. He asked to speak to the man of the house about changing suppliers for something. My teacher told him that her husband was on a business trip and to call back the next day. He did, and she told him her husband had been delayed and to call back again tomorrow. This went on for another two days before she finally put her husband on. When the caller asked him about changing services, her husband told him that she deals with the bills and to talk to her. My teacher then took the phone back, said, ‘No, thank you,’ and hung up.”
— uranium / ireadvogonpoetry
41.“My friend asked me to update his motherboard and processor, so I went to Best Buy for some components. While the first employee was respectful and sent for someone with keys to get me the parts, the employee with the keys kept asking my friend what he wanted. I would answer — my friend didn’t know — and the employee would ask two or three times if I was sure.”
42.“I was trying to collect a parcel addressed to my husband and me from the post office. They told me my husband had to come to collect it. When I asked if they meant both of us had to be there, I was told no, just him.”
" Needless to say , I was not felicitous . After some disceptation , they gave me the parcel . "
— atomic number 92 / CH9791
43.“I ordered a grill from Lowe’s for curbside pickup and called my best friend to drive because he had a truck. The Lowe’s dude took forever before coming outside multiple times to letmy friendknow the grill was missing, give him status updates, and apologize. Every single time, my friend said, ‘Talk to her. I’m just the ride.'”
" Meanwhile , he looked my friend in the face the whole time and ignored me . Women are allowed to make purchases . We like food , too . My Quaker earned major congratulations that day for calling out the Lowe ’s clotheshorse ’s sexism . "
— u / GirlsLikeStatus
44.“I’m an Army veteran, and my debit card is with a military-affiliated bank. Every time I use it to pay at a restaurant, the server brings back the check, sets it in front of my husband, and thanks him for his service. The card has my name, and the servers literally watch me pull it out of my bag. I’ve even used the card while alone and still been asked, ‘Oh, was your husband or dad in the military?'”
" No , they were not . My married man was never in the military . I was . Thank you . "
— u / TheLinkToYourZelda
Note : Some responses have been edited for duration and/or limpidity .
